Viper Tongue

Twisted words

When I got back to the hideout
I entered through my bedroom window making it seem like I'd been there a long time, changed then made my way to the bar area. "When did you get back?!" I raised an eyebrow at Shiagaraki fiddling with my fishnet gloves. I suddenly put together an equation in my head, I could see everything clearly! The effects it would have on the heroes "of course that's it! How could I be stupid?!" I rushed for my book but as I reached for it, Shigaraki tossed it to Dabi who flicked through it as if he were actually interested.

I sighed and tugged my glove out of the way scribbling the equation in marker but as I was about to finish, a dry pale hand came down on my wrist roughly but one finger stayed up...Shigaraki had reached his limit.

As his four fingers gripped my skin, i recalled the same treatment at the school I spent my childhood in "an answer would be appreciated, Riku" I kept my eyes low to the wooden surface "I just got back" I heard a deep raspy chuckle escape his lips which only sent chills down my spine "Good, good" my fingers flexed while the rest of me remained frozen to the spot.

His index finger tapped the writing "what's all this?" I stared at the bold scribbles "a new mix, I don't know if it'll work out but I wanna try it...if you'll let me?" His finger brushed down the skin "of course, you're one of us now aren't you? You survived and escaped when we left you all on your own" a slight anger rose inside of me at his confirmation and calm tone as if it were all fine. I turned slowly "can I have the book back...please?"

Half of Dabi suddenly burst into neon blue flames making me flinch "scared I'm gonna burn it?" I put my hand out as my heart raced inside my chest "Dabi" Shigaraki's words made his eyes leave me temporarily as his hand slammed the book into my open hand with a slight glint of confusion in his eye. Part of me thought he saw through my poker face seeing just what a simple touch had brought back, I turned away and walked back to my room before anything else could happen.

I locked the door quietly before setting myself down at the desk and copying the notes from my wrist to my book in a neater style, even once I'd finished, I didn't want to go back out there and show my face. I couldn't get my mind free of memories from the school I attended, the way they dragged us from lesson to lesson by our wrists not giving a care in the world whether or not they hurt us. My fingers rubbed the skin soothingly through the fish net gloves completely oblivious to the knock at the door.

"Riku? You in there?" I snapped out of my trance answering the door coming face to face with Twice and Himiko who seemed to be debating something argumentatively "You saw that look too Toga! You're curious too! Don't even try denying it" I stood there blankly waiting for them to realise I'd actually opened the door "Hi Riku!" I made eye contact with Himiko "Hey, are you two okay?" Twice has his arms folded stiffly staring me down daring me to break.

Himiko didn't speak so Twice piped up "that's not the question you should be asking" I titled my head "then what is?" He altered his stance to a more gentle one placing his hands on my cheeks "Are you okay?" I stepped out of his reach "yea, I'm fine" Toga cocked her head to the side "Riku...you had 'that look' in your eye" I shrugged innocently "what 'look'?" She stepped forward "the 'look' you get whenever we talk about 'before'" Himiko had gradually turned 'before' into my trigger word, every time someone said it, I'd get flashbacks and memories flooding through my head "That! That's it! That's the look! Look twice!" I quickly averted my gaze to the floor wandering back into my room and fiddling with my glove more roughly now as my fear grew inside me.

As I went to close the door, I realised they were already in and exploring the contents of the four walls "I think I'm gonna go take a walk or something, it's really stuffy in here" I hurried past them and didn't stop hurrying until I was out the door and halfway down the street, it probably didn't help that I had an anxiety disorder. It's why I worked alone and even when it got so bad, I stopped working all together. I'd hoped and prayed it had gotten better if I didn't trigger it but it was now I realised it hadn't changed at all.

I kept up a fast pace which didn't help but I needed to keep at the same speed as everything was racing in order for it all to get better "c'mon, get a grip!" My hands clutched my hair as I struggled to breathe with tears streaming down my face, why did Himiko have to say 'that word'?! She knew what it did to me. "We too much for you?" I spun around to find Dabi staring at me, I quickly wiped my tears trying to fix my appearance "what happened?"

I held my tongue trying to slow everything down so I could find a space to breathe "nothing happened Dabi...you never saw me like this" I closed my eyes as my headed pounded and he turned away pausing then glanced over his shoulder in annoyance "if you keep it bottled up like this, you'll never be able to move on...not really, it'll eat away at you...you really want that?" I folded my arms "my demons are my own, I don't want to burden anyone else. If I burst, that's my issue and I'm prepared to take the consequences" he spun around jerking his finger at me "that may of been how it was in the past but you heard Shigaraki, you're part of a team. One of us falls, we all fall"

My eyes rose to his "then maybe you should've thought this through a little bit more" I went to turn away but his hand gripped mine in the exact same place Shigaraki's had but he pulled me back to him and his lips made contact with mine.