Viper Tongue

The Doctor Is In The House

Shigaraki clearly wasn't happy about their failure at capturing Karma "How would we even get him here?" I was too busy tampering with bottles to fully indulge in the conversation but it seemed a part of me was doing just that

Without thinking, I decided to pipe up "Use ketamine" their low levels of intelligence were really starting to get to me. Everyone knows ketamine is what you use in surgery or to jump someone!

"Keta- what?" Why'd the lizard thing have to make me sound dumber?! I'm trying to help here! It's not my fault I had a photographic memory

I repeated myself reluctantly sighing in the process "Ketamine - A hydrochloride tranquilliser used in veterinary practice. It has the same effects on people too," noticing the blank faces just stare in the room like I was an idiot, my brain started to panic

I decided I needed to prove my experience with the substance
"I used to use the stuff to sleep at night, it's extremely limited on the black market like nitinol alloy, I'll explain another time"

Shigaraki seemed to be getting his hopes a little too high for my normal amount of pressure "don't tell me you happen to have some stashed away?" One glance down into the box told me I had to disappoint my boss once again

Another sigh escaped my lips - "Honestly, I wish it did. But I don't, or at least not enough. Plus if I do it, he'll see it coming. So in my opinion, unless we can get our hands on some ketamine, drugging him in anyway is out of the question and last time I checked, he won't come willingly. The amount that I have would only be enough to knock out a hamster at best, not a full grown human being"

"When did she get so smart?!" Clearly the newbies thought I was just some dumb blonde that Tomura plucked up off the streets for Himiko or Dabi...I mean they're not wrong but there's more to it than that!

"Despite her spiteful and sarcastic nature, we went through a lot of trouble to get Riku on our side. Her knowledge of chemicals is terrifying and insulting to anyone else even remotely close to her age" I raised my head up in pride at how he described me

"And how old is she?" I didn't know whether to find this insulting that he couldn't tell or just go with it? Surely I didn't have wrinkles already?!

"We're old enough to draw blood" I hadn't noticed Himiko in the corner Dabi usually stood in, she looked almost sane, 'almost' being the key word there

"I'm sorry, 'we'?" I was so taken back by the question, I forgot to watch my expression so my boyfriend answered for me seeing that I was taking a moment to process what was just said

"Just how blind are you? They're twins" I could feel Dabi's frustration radiating behind me as his hand patted my head as if I were a small child causing me to swat him away

"So where can we find this 'ketamine'?" Had I not just explained this?! No one had a map or tracker of the stuff! the on places yet again that I could think of were a veterinary practice or black market

"Like I said, if you're lucky, black market. They have large doses in veterinary practices or hospitals but there's a larger risk of being caught, some dealers might have some but that's not really my problem on how you get it, it's if you want to use it or not?"

I was at the stage of wanting to whack my head against the bar repeatedly and probably would have if it weren't for Shigaraki seated at the bar drumming his fingers on the surface. It just felt like no one was listening even though they were looking for answers

"What about the alloy?" I noted down the chemical equation for both ketamine and the alloy in case they wanted to get some off the black market before taking a deep breath preparing to go full 'Bill Nye' on these amateurs

"Nitinol, or Nickel titanium - It shifts back to its original metallic state when heated, it'll be useless. Get back to me when you have a plan in mind" I slid the piece of paper over to the boss

"Show this to any black market dealer you want to get the product from, and if they're legit - they'll hand it over for a reasonable price. Drug sales are the same as weapon sales, there's more ways to scam and such"

Twice examined every inch of the note "this won't do! We need secret codes! Hidden messages! Disguises!" I tapped the paper telling him this was the only way "Normally I'd agree, but we're looking for speed, not stealth. Stop me if I'm wrong but this is the fastest way I know? I'm sorry"

Not that I could really tell but his face contorted into one of concern "Not that it's my business but where did you find your market wisdom?" I itched the back of my neck in embarrassment "when I was younger, I dabbled in dealing myself however it was only enough to get my bearings" my hand gestured to the box underneath the bar top.

I spent the rest of the day going through different chemicals as small groups hit the market hoping to find scrapes of ketamine, Dabi eventually had to go do something else so I was stuck on my own in the end

Later on, I'd decided I'd had enough of clothes taking over my floor even if they were dabi's. Dabi was the kind of guy who starts undressing before he even got to the room which meant I usually send him out to grab his jacket off the floor

"Nice work, with the chemistry" I gave a shy smile to the burnt man in the doorway "I see you've cleaned up" I folded one of his baggy T-shirts neatly "I feel like a damn housewife to 20 husbands or something" his hands took the shirt from mine "you're not. If you're anyone's 'housewife', you're mine! And I'm the only 'husband' you need to worry about"

His last sentence brought a reddish tint flooding to my cheeks "Are you gonna behave yourself while Karma is here?" He scoffed loudly showing his jealousy in bright colours returning my question "Are you?" I put my arms around his neck "you're the only one I care about. There's nothing between me and the 'Aka-brat', my feelings for him left me when the bullet did...and now, I'm all for crispy burnt men"

"Look at you, being the 'boss' - even Shigaraki is listening to you!" A great sense of accomplishment washed over me realising he was right, Tomura hadn't shut me down or interrupted me today! "Careful - keep talking like that and I might go to Tomura asking to get you promoted...and then where would we be?"

He picked me up causing my legs to wrap around his waist "Leaders of the league of villains running things our way. I like the sound of that!" It wasn't long before we were back to our nightly routine of making out and everything that falls under the category of 'love' but I wasn't complaining! This was Dabi we're talking about, after all!