The CEO

Feelings

Eren

I didn't get to see Levi for five whole days.
Armin kept shooting me worried glances on the evenings I came home and collapsed lifelessly on the couch, all energy sapped from me.
According to Levi's short text he'd gone to Japan to meet a certain dealer with a colleague of his.
I couldn't deny the slight stab of jealousy I'd felt when I read it. Stupidly, I'd always assumed that he would take me on his work trips. Still, I felt lonely without him.
The Truth or Dare incident had certainly brought obstacles in me and my dear co-workers' friendship. We started being at ease around each other after two days, but it still was awkward as hell. After arriving in the mornings, Sasha and Jean would scan the newspapers about any articles from Levi, and on the chance that they found a mention of even his name they'd read the whole excerpt, making sure to stress pointedly on the mention of his name.
One night I decided to visit the Chambre Rose, just for the heck of it. I wanted to find out more about the place, so I called Hanji over to ask if she and Mike were free to go there. Mike wasn't, but she had a little time to spare. And that's how we ended up drinking vodka in the middle of the night with another band playing live in front of us.
"Sorry it's so late. You must have to wake up early to go to work." I gave her an apologetic smile.
"Likewise. But don't fret too much, it's okay once in a while." She adjusted her glasses. "So what's up? Moping around with no Levi to hold?"
"Uh...yeah." I looked down in embarrassment. "It's pathetic of me, I know."
"Come to think of it, I mean I don't mean any offence but..." She narrowed her eyes in thought. "He became really close to you awfully fast, don't you think? It's good, but...that's not the Levi I know. The real one would keep you at bay for a bit more time even before you two have your first kiss with each other."

We already did that before going out, I was going to say, but I understood what she meant.
"Ah, well." She swallowed a big gulp of her drink. "All in good time. I can see why he's become that intimate so quickly." She winked. "Take care of him for us, huh?"
"Absolutely." I nodded and looked at the singer onstage. She had a gentle voice, but one full of pain.
Oh, my beloved
You are the one
Don't you think of me enough?
I've been burning my heart out

"So what's the deal with No Name?" I asked, trying to ignore the way the lyrics stabbed at my chest. "How come the three of you are secret popstars?"
She grinned. "Well, we started in highschool, to help Levi get distracted from his...you know. It got pretty crazy, sometimes we would get criticised really bad, but many people liked us. Continuing it all the way to college was mighty tough, though. Levi cut off all contacts after his parents commited suicide. Erwin and I had to juggle studies and finding out where Levi was, but eventually we made it. We even convinced Levi to get in touch with other people. So he got close to the guys at work- Eld, Oluo, Petra, Gunther- you know it." She paused to take a sip of the glass. "After intense hours of discussion we took the risk of continuing this and we had this structure built. We'd rehearse during weekends, and perform after confirmation many days in advance. It was hard as shit during the initial stages...but here we are- doin' pretty good." She ran her hand through her messy brown ponytail. "Nobody who gets in here is allowed to tell anyone about us. You can guess our reason for keeping it a secret, yeah?" She thumped her glass on the table. "How about you? Any hobbies of yours?"
"Well, I used to play guitar because my parents thought that girls would get attracted to me more." I asked with some difficulty. She leaned in curiously.
"But I loved swimming most. I won a lot of competitions because of that passion, I guess?"
"Woah...you must have been popular in high school."
"Yeah, well...I was also an academic achiever, so that added to it. Not proud of it though." I shook my head. "It just encouraged my parents to match me with more girls."
"What's the deal with your parents and women? You gotta tell me sometime." The song ended with a bittersweet note as the audience erupted into applause. Hanji checked the time. "Getting pretty late, huh?" She stood up. "Anything else you want to have?"
"Oh, no thanks. I should be getting back soon. It's been an hour since we got here."
"Alright, I'll see you soon." She clapped me on the shoulder. "Have a good night."
"Good night." I watched her go into one of the dressing rooms, probably to review the preparations for their next performace.
Okay Eren. Two more days and you can see him again. Hang in there.
I was actually surprised. I'd been expecting myself to be absolutely drained of energy in his absence. But instead I felt a kind of peace deep inside, knowing that he would return soon.
Jeez, I sound like I'm awaiting my prince.
Maybe you are. The immature part if me suggested. I told it to scram.
Pushing down my thoughts of want, I went out into the drizzly night.
Cold rain fell on my face, reminding me of the time we'd properly confessed to each other. I thought how one thing had led to another. I stomped towards my car before the memories of our lovemaking would overpower me again.
Not now not here.
I could do this. I could hold out.