The Nanny

•5•

It had been a month and I had settled in well. The new apartment was wonderful only a 2 minute walk from the house and it felt good knowing I had a steady home to raise Loai in for the time being.

I had noticed something whilst working as their nanny. Not once had Mr Baraz come home whilst I was looking after the children. I hadn't seen him in a month. So I may have taken advantage of that and maybe I bring Loai with my to work everyday.

In my defence I pay for anything Loai does and it's better for him to be in a home instead of a greasy back room of a diner. Plus it gave Loai kids close enough to his age to play with and I would have been caught by now if Mr Baraz took time to ask his kids how their day was. But who am I to judge I know nothing.

"Stoowwwppp" I heard Luna scream as I went running out to the garden only to see Loai and Xavier holding the ribbons I had tied to Luna's bunches. "BOYS BOSIBI " (boys come here) yes the twins were now also answering to my angry Yoruba phrases.

Both came waddling with guilty faces. I gave them a look that told them they knew what to do as they both walked back to Luna "sorry" both said as they went to give Luna back her ribbons as I took a seat on the steps of the porch watching the children play.

How I wish he could be here to see this. He was meant to be here. Loai would come screaming dad and he would run to him lifting him in his arms. But all that was taken from Loai by him. By me.

Tomorrow would mark the second year since he made that choice. He was my angel but before he left he graced me with a special one. I didn't know how I would handle tomorrow. I couldn't be around the children it would hurt too much. It's so painful to look into your child's eyes and get upset because you see someone you loved someone you loved so fucking much. How unfair it's just my luck that I found something real that's out of touch.

"Emi sad" alerted me to the feeling of little arms going around me hugging me and the wetness of my tears falling onto my bare legs. I needed all their arms to hold me up. " I'm alright my angels" I said hugging all three of them as close to my chest as possible. God gave me three little angels.

--
All three kids now sat in their high chairs naked except for their pull ups.they were ready to participate in making lunch a new favourite pass time of mine. Them being naked made it easy for bath time after the mess they would make. Teaching them how to cook before they even knew it.

It was a Wednesday which meant pancake day which was once a week and this week we would make strawberry pancakes a new flavour. Egg and plantain was for breakfast this morning and since the twins loved shepherds pie I had learned to make it with a little African twist just for them and Loai and that would be for dinner.

"Dummy's out of mouths" I held up the bowl to place their pacifiers in which I would sterilise. All of them quickly obeyed, something which had taken a lot of discipline to correct but we made it.

Loai never used dummy's until he met the twins. He wanted to be just like them and I loved that he had someone to look up to even if dummy's weren't the best.

I placed sliced strawberries on each of their high chair tables and gave them little plastic mallets. "3,2,1 smash" as a burst of giggles erupted through the kitchen along with the sound of strawberries being squashed as I began to make the batter. I ensured they were low in sugar as I didn't need a sugar rush from them. I turned on the paw patrol theme tune picking up my bowl and using my spoon to sing to them as the kids attempted to sing the chorus. I danced around making funny faces and dance moves causing the kids to burst into even louder laughter.

Suddenly the music stopped and Xavier and Luna screamed "DADDY" the fuck do I look like your dad- oh fuck that dad.

I turned around sheepishly coming face to face with Mr Baraz. His face was stone cold and unamused. " we are making pancakes would you like some?" I squeaked out. He stayed silent getting his phone out holding it to his ear. "Geoffrey I need you to watch the kids in the kitchen" he stated cutting the phone. "And you come with me" he beckoned me. I looked around me looking for who he could be talking to. "Now" he snarled "jeez don't get your knickers in a twist I'm coming"