Trust issues

27-Tip of the ice...!

As I snap out of my thoughts i realize I have some work to catch up on. I walk upstairs and see my brother in his room doing his homework. He seems focused so i don't say anything but hi and how was school. He says good. I go in my room and pull out my supplies to get to work.

1 hour and 45 minutes

Finally done my homework and it's 6:50. I go check on my brother to see how he's feeling. Hey bud. I say. Hey sis. You cool? I ask. Why'd you ask? He questions. Just checking up on you ya know? I say. Ok well I'm fine? He says sighing. Oh really, you seem bummed. I say rubbing his shoulder. Thanks for noticing. He says placing my hand back.  Am I doing something wrong? I say. Listen....Being honest.. I can't take my life anymore man.... why do I have to be put in a bad position? He says placing his on his forehead. Dude your only 12 years old you haven't seen anything yet, take a breather. I say rubbing his head. Stop making everything seem so lovely dovey. He says. Well you thinking negative isn't helping? I say. Listen in here for you bud. I say. That's what mom said and how is she now?. Your right but I've been here for you and haven't let you down since mom did. What's is helping you to think like this bud? I ask. I just see how lonely and low spirited I am. I try to cheer up but it's her that lowers me down... no real role models no real love, I feel helpless. He says starting to tear up. I hug him deeply and we sit there and sob for about 6 straight minutes. I finally released our hug and i say", You can come to me for anything remember that. I kiss him on the forehead.  Remember to eat something and get ready for bed. I say through my room door. Mhm. He responds. I then put my pj's on after i wash my face and brush my teeth. I get in bed and start to close my eyes and start thinking up the things hat happened to me today.