hard to love (a bellarke fanfiction)

prologue- c.g.

// Opening the letter in my hand, I feel my hands shake. Usually I'm never this nevous about anything.
I shoot a quick glance in my mother's direction across the table. She nods in encouragement and I continue to rip through the sticky paper material.
I rip a tiny path through the top of the envelope, slowly pulling out the letter. I always thought the letter was to say no thank you, and the bigger size envelopes were the acceptance letters. I gently unfold the letter and read it in my head. I wouldn't want the awkward sympathy from my mom if I read the declining words out loud.

I bring my hand to my mouth as my jaw drops. I feel a tingle come from my eye and I now know I'm crying. Happy tears, please be happy tears, Clarke. I read the words again:
We can't wait to see you in the fall, Ms. Griffin.

I force the chair away from the table and stand up. My mother does the same and we meet around the corner in a warm embrace. As she rubs my back, she beams," I'm so so proud of you, Clarke."

I pull away from the hug and frown," You'll be left all alone." This saddens me, without my father here with her, I wonder what she'll do in her spare time. My heart beats faster than I have ever felt. The electricity of excitement flows through my veins.

She nods," That's okay, I'll be okay. At least now I won't feel so guilty when I come home late from a double shift."

I slightly chuckle and nod in agreement. I pull her into another hug and do a short bounce into the air.

--

" Mom, I have everything, I checked at least five times." I say while rolling my eyes. I stop at the end of the stairs and re-adjust my grip on my last cardboard box full of clothes. Or is some old pictures? I clearly didn't label these boxes before I packaged them up.

My mom finally flies down the stairs holding my art kit," Don't forget this. I want to see you in museums one day." I sigh and she stacks the kit on top of my box. She gives me a half smile and rubs her hand along my cheek. " Your father would be so proud of you, honey."