hard to love (a bellarke fanfiction)

chapter fourteen- b.b.

// Walking through the hallway, everywhere I look there's someone drunk stumbling around. Yeah, as you can guess, I'm at a party.

I'm falling back into the old patterns of the Bellamy I thought I left behind. I stand at the top of the stairs, looking at a brown haired girl who just walked in.
She glances around, and then we make eye contact. She winks and walks into the other room. I step down the stairs, and follow her into the room. It's just as crowded as all the other rooms, and a game of pool is going on.

My hand is yanked and I'm spun around.

The girl asks," Are you following me?"

" Uh, yeah, kinda."

" Wanna get me a drink?" She says. Controlling, I like it.

I grab her hand and pull her into the kitchen. It's less packed in here and the music isn't so loud in here. She asks," So, what are you here for?"

" Huh?" I ask, while I grab two cups.

She shrugs," I feel like people don't go to parties for fun anymore. You know what I mean?"

" No." I respond, honestly.

She laughs," Well, okay."

" What's your reason then?"

She looks around the room," I just moved here, I'm a transfer from Seattle. I arrived too late to just crash into my dorm and wake my roommate."

I nod," Right." I hand her a drink and I pick up mine.

She shakes her head," Not so fast." She takes my drink and holds out hers. " I'm not stupid."

" I'm not that kind of guy." I respond.

" Well, what kind of guy are you?" She says with a flirtacious tone.

" Why don't we find out?" I say, if she plans on using me, I'll just use her to get Clarke out of my head.

" Lead the way."

I down the rest of my drink and we both head upstairs.

Later that night, I'm getting dressed and skipping out on the awkward wake up. I sneak out the door, and then down the hall towards the stairs. If I can just leave with no further problems that'd be great.

My phone rings and I pull it out of my pocket. Just something about the name that pops up, that just punctures a hole through my heart. And I think it's guilt.

" Hey." I answer.

" Hey, how are you?" Clarke's voice fills my eyes and my head aches.

" Uh, I'm good. You?"

" I'm good too."

" So...What's up?" I ask, feeling an awkward moment rise.

" Do you want to get some breakfast?"

" Yeah, yeah I do. I'll pick you up in like fifteen minutes."

" Okay." She breathes, a sort of calmness and sigh of relief fills me from the tone in her voice.
-

" Hey, you." She cheers from the window. I unlock the door of my car and she hops in.

I smile as fake as I can," You seem really happy today."

" Yeahhh, I think I am happy."

" Do you know why?" I say with a laugh.

" I'm just really happy, don't be such a debby-downer."

" Alright, alright, where do you want to go?"

" Where can you get some good french toast here?"

I nod," I got the place."

She smiles," Yeah, take control."

I laugh," Do you have to study today with Octavia?"

" Yes I do, but how long do you think we'll be at breakfast?"

" Well there's this small village in the area, we could walk around and check it out?"

She smiles," Okay, yeah. I'd love to."

Our hands both sit close to each other on the ledge in between us. I hesitate to grab her hand and I can tell she's looking at our hands too. I don't want to cross the line and ruin this moment.

Clarke breathes loudly, and then grabs my finger. A small grows on my lips, and I hold her whole hand. I don't look at her, too nervous to see her reaction.

I've hardly ever held a girl's hand while driving. Only those super clingy girls that didn't take the hint that we weren't anything more than friends. But I hope to hold Clarke's hand for many many car rides.