hard to love (a bellarke fanfiction)

chapter one- c.g.

// Finally unpacked and having everything set up in my dorm, I lay back on my bed and just breathe. Moving into a new place is hard, even harder with a small space like this.
I'm not positive if I have a roomate yet, it would be ideal to be alone. I don't get along with most people, it's been my Mom and I for a long time.

To pass time, I take out my empty palette and my pastels, and start drawing a beautiful green meadow. I imagine if I was there, how it would feel and look.

I feel the sun on my face, I see trees all around me, scent of wild flowers on a breeze; it's so beautiful.

I sigh to myself and take a look at my drawing. I've never thought of myself as an artist, I just always draw my feelings and emotions. My work takes people's breath away. I'd guess, not many people have seen my work.

I admire my watch on my wrist. It was my father's. I haven't taken it off in a long time, never for more than ten minutes I would say also.

I remember my mom's words on the phone as I was arriving to the school.
-
" I know you'll be a great friend to everyone, your instincts tell you so. Just like your father. Be safe hun, I can't loose you too. I love you so much."

College, Clark, you get to go to college.

" Mom-" I start to say with a laugh, she gets a little sentimental during things like this. I feel a tear in my eye but I won't let myself cry. Our phone line cuts off and I'm left with a static silence. I slide my phone into my back pocket and make my way to my dorm hallway.

--

Making my way to my first class in the next two days, I feel a little nervous. But that's normal, Clarke. You're alright. I'm alright.
I scan the classroom, a lot of talking unfamiliar faces that I will learn to recognize. I try to guess how many are in here, many a hundred or so.
I'm not use to a big classroom like this, or any classroom for that matter. I was homeschooled by my parents, which wasn't totally bad.
I sit down into a seat near the middle, closer to the front I would say. I begin to daydream, not paying attention around me.
A loud book crash wakes me up from my daydream.
I hear a slight laugh next to me," Welcome back." I look up and my jaw tenses. He notices my reaction," Look-"

Raising my voice,"-Wells, why the hell are you here?" This dark figure next to me, I know is my old bestfriend, but I can't picture myself to be nice to him. Not after what he did. I keep my brow furrowed in annoyance.

He sighs and responds," When I found out you were in this class, I signed up." My jaw opens in surprise, before I can respond, he says," I came for you."

The loud remarks from other students make us look away at the noise. Kids playing around and acting like they should be back in the junior high.

The loud speakers come on. It's raspy and static-y. Hard to hear over the loudness of the students around us.
" ...Students of NYU, hear me now. You've been given a lucky chance, and as your chance, my hope is that you see this as not just a chance for you, you give a chance for all of us. Indeed, for mankind itself. We have no idea how you'll grow at your time in college, but we're sure you'll do great things here..."

A student interrupts, I guess he recognized the speaker's voice. He shouts," Your dad is in charge here, isn't he, Wells? He's a dick." Other students laugh at the response of Wells rolling his eyes. I open my book I brought with me and start reading.

A random student, a boy with longish hair, starts jumping around on the desks. With our professor not yet in the room, he's just acting really foolish. A foot lands next to my book and I look up at his lingering brown eyes. He gives a snarky comment to Wells that I didn't hear.
Wells responds sternly," Sit back down before the professor comes in."

As other students start to get a little crazy, following this guy, I speak up," Sit down if you want to continue your day in this school."

" You're the smart one who's going to be teacher's pet." He says looking at me with a spark in his eye. No way am I giving in to this guy.

" You're the idiot wasting student loans on a stupid desk runway." I respond with my natural born attitude. I don't have time for guys like this.

" But it's fun." He responds, with a short laugh. He crosses his arms and continues to stare at me. He says," I'm Finn."

I stare blankly at him, until someone throws a book. It hits Finn straight in the back of the head, causing him to loose his balance and he falls to the floor next to me.

I roll my eyes and lean down towards him," Finn, are you okay?"

The professor walks in and Finn stands up. He doesn't make eye contact with me, just fixes his jacket and his green beanie hat, then walks back to his seat in the front.

Wells whispers," Clarke, there's something I have to tell you. I'm sorry I got your father arrested."

I look at him, and louder than a whisper, I say," No, don't you talk about my father." I tighten my jaw and force myself to breathe, when all I want is to run away.

" Please, I can't focus knowing you hate me." He says in a calm voice.

" They didn't arrest my father, Wells, they sent him to prison. I do hate you." I grab my things and move to a seat down the row.

*** A/N please leave a comment or vote! It'll help encourage me to continue!