hard to love (a bellarke fanfiction)

chapter twenty-five- c.g.

// I step into the bathroom, grabbing my phone. I turn the water on blast, and dial Octavia's name in my contacts.
I press call, and wait for her to answer.

" Hey, Clarke." She answers.

" Octavia, can you meet for coffee?"

" I just woke up, but I can meet you in like ten minutes?"

" In like twenty minutes? At Julio's?"

" Yeah, yeah, is something wrong?"

" No, I just need to talk about something Bellamy did. I'm going to call Raven now too."

" Oh, oh god. He told you, didn't he?"

" You knew he was going to tell me-wait what?"

" We'll talk over coffee." She responds.

I just wanted to talk to her about why Bellamy won't tell me he loves me. And Raven is invited too because I need to the girl advice. I feel like he was just beating around the bush, and wouldn't actually come out with it. I feel like he does, he does love me, but he wouldn't come out and tell me. How does Octavia know? Did he tell her or something?

I head into the shower and continue to get ready. Leaving my hair natural with some wavy spray, to make it look presentable even when it dries, light layer of makeup, a black skirt and a silky purple blouse, I'm finally ready.

" Hey, lunch later?" Bellamy asks as he passes the bathroom headed to his room.

" I made myself a lunch today, I want to get a lot done so I can get off early tomorrow."

" Alright, call me when you finish later. I was wondering if you want to go out, like on a date night."

I laugh," What do you have in mind?"

" Dinner and a movie, the classic. Octavia told me you were a hopeless romantic."

I smile," Sounds romantic, pick me up at 6?"

He nods," Good." He kisses me and I leave, grabbing my work things and after slipping my feet into simple black heels.

" I already ordered for us." Octavia says, as I approach the table.

I nod," Oh, thanks."

She says," Did you invite Raven?"

I nod," Yeah, I need to talk to both of you." I answer, taking my jacket off and sitting down.

" I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, I honestly told Bellamy not to."

" You told him not to tell me? Why would you do that?" I wrap my jacket around my seat, giving her a confused look.

" I thought it would've made you mad, and that it would hurt you." She says, rubbing my arm.

" What? I'm not hurt at all...I-I-"

She interrupts,"-You're okay with it?" She asks, surprised.

" I guess I am, but I want to know why?"

" Why what?"

" Why didn't you want him to tell me?"

" I thought you wouldn't take it well."

I laugh," I feel like we're not talking about the same thing, Octavia."

She breathes," They hooked up before you two were really close, but I still thought it would be hard for you to hear."

" Octavia..." I say, my throat tensing up and my heart pounding.

" Was...that not was not what he told you, was it? Holy shit, did I...Clarke, let me explain."

I shake my head frantically and feel my eyes start to water," What are you talking about? Bellamy, and...and who? Raven?" I ask. As if on cue, Raven walks in with a bright smile, which is instantly vanished when she's sees me.

She walks over quickly," What happened?"

" Did you hook up with Bellamy?" I ask, practically shouting.

She looks around at the wandering eyes, and sits next to me. She looks confused," Your boyfriend? What?"

Octavia says," Bellamy is that guy you met at the party when you first transferred here. I thought Bellamy told her, but he kept it and I just spilled the beans."

Raven covers her mouth in shock," Wait, your boyfriend was the guy I slept with? Oh my god, Clarke, I had no idea."

I shake my head," I'm not mad at you, if you really didn't know."

" I didn't." She responds, remorse filling her deep eyes.

" Bellamy didn't tell me this, and he should've."

Octavia shakes her head," He was..." She drops her head," He was, but I convinced him not to."

I stand up," I have to go to work. I'll be late." I grab my purse at my feet and slide my jacket off my chair, rushing out of the cafe before I can even put it on. The brisk cold air waving passed my face and freezing my tears to my face. Octavia calls for me, but I keep walking to my car. Well, as fast as I can in these heels.

I sit in my car, crying at the wheel. I shouldn't be mad, it was before I even met Raven, and before I even had a relationship with Bellamy. But he hid it from me, he didn't tell me. And he should've.

He's the only person in this world that I truly can be myself around. The only person that understands me with no questions asked. I was comfortable around him from the start. I accepted him with all his flaws, and he accepted all my insecurities. But this can just add to the list, now I'm afraid. Of the future, the possibility of him cheating on me, or just getting drunk and making a mistake.
The worse of it all, I just want to go to him and hide myself in his chest and cry my heart out. I just need his arms around me to comfort me and make me feel like all is well again.

*** A/N

Oh god, I'm so evil ;D

THANKS SO SO MUCH FOR 5K, SO UNBELIEVABLE!!! ILY ALL XO XO

I want to read some more on Wattpad, so comment below some of your favorite stories and I'll check them out! (fanfictions or regular, doesn't matter)

& Sad note, this story is coming to a close soon... I originally planned on 30 parts, and I still need to see but I think that's when this story will be completed, comment below if you'd be interested in a second book?? (i've thought about it)