hard to love (a bellarke fanfiction)

chapter eight- b.b.

(sorry for any grammatical errors, i didn't edit this before posting!)

// Peeking looks at her, here and there, while she swifts through the menu, is something I hope I never forget as long as I know her.
She beams and laughs, and even just rambles on, I should be listening, but the passion in her voice just mesmerizes me.

Call me a liar, but I haven't ever actually been on a date before. Settling down with a girl has never been on my plan. Any girl I've ever been with, has just been a one night stand sort of situation.
Her eyes flutter across the different entrees and appetizers, at a rapid pace. I know she's a fast reader, because she's intelligent. And she likes poetry. Another characteristic of hers I find completely attractive.

Clarke lowers her menu and interrupts my thoughts," What are you thinking about?" She squints her eyes in a curious way.

I laugh," You."

She cocks her head," And why's that?"

I look around the diner, to avoid the question. The red and white vintage chairs, old jukebox in the corner, the bar with the leather stools, it takes you back a couple years.
I almost blurt out everything I was thinking, but I stop myself. I answer," I'm just curious as to what you're going to order."

She laughs," Probably the turkey sandwich."

" So, do you live in New York?" I ask, putting my hands on the table in front of me.

She leans back," No, I moved here from a very small town in Wisconsin."

" What's in Wisconsin?" I ask, as politely as possible, not wanting to conflict any rude tone on the question.

She whispers," Nothing. Very small town. Beautiful town, everyone knew each other, just not much to do." She ends in a shrug.

" Doesn't sound that bad. What do your parents do?"

She breathes," My mom is a nurse. One of the best in the town." A proud look falls on her features.

" And your dad?" Seeing her reaction after I ask this, makes a pit in my stomach form. Without hesitation, I grab her hand and hold it in the middle of the table.

She stares at our hands, and answers quietly," He's in prison. Wrongly committed, paying a ten year sentence."

I rub my thumb across her hand, feeling her tingle at the soft touch. Something so innocent, feels so intimate.

" How long has it been?" I ask, gently, so I don't cross any lines.

" Three years."

I see a tear forming in her eye. I breathe," It'll be okay."

She looks up at me, with a small smile. " I still get sad about everything that happened. Every now and then it just hits me. Sometimes, it takes days for me to get over it."

I look at her deep in her eyes. Man, those eyes. I start to say something, but finally our waitress shows up. She blushes at us," Never have I ever seen a couple so cute as you two little buttons."

Clarke and I laugh, and she awkwardly slides her hand away.

Our waitress, her name Diane, says her nametag, she laughs," Oh, don't be embarrassed!"

Clarke says," We're sort of...it's complicated." I assume she was about to tell our waitress the truth, but that would only just break her heart so she decided not to. A simple pleasure of that makes me smile.

Diane looks at Clarke and leans over," Anyone who saw how he looks at you, would know he's hooked."

Clarke chuckles lightly, her pale cheeks turning a slight red.

Diane holds up her pen and clicks it," Alright, what can I get you two to eat?"

Before Clarke can answer, I speak up," She's going to order the turkey sandwich."

Diane asks," With chips?"

Clarke looks at me and nods, while a smile escapes her lips. I answer," Yes." Diane writes this down, and I continue," And I'll get the chicken pot pie. Also, can we get an appetizer of fries?"

Diane nods, taking our menus," Okay. I'll have that right in for ya." As she walks away, I let out a laugh.

Clarke squints at me again, why does she do this? She says," You scare me."

I'm taken aback," I do? Why?"

She half smiles," I'm telling you things, I can't even tell myself." Her head shakes lightly; that waitress was right, I'm hooked.

I respond in a smile.

*** A/N
I wish this was real life, #relationshipgoals

Thank u so so much for the lovely comments and the votes! I love seeing notifications every time I check the app, it's so encouraging! Xo

(Sorry about the short chapter, I have tons of work to do, and it's a good pause for the next update!) ((Which will be tomorrow!))