hard to love (a bellarke fanfiction)

chapter seven- c.g.

{video link from the lyrics below is above on mobile or to the right on PC, a true fav of mine, so please enjoy}

// Oh, maybe I just wasn't good enough
To blow your mind, you know I've tried.
Them silver lines they cut like blades of glass
Not worth the blood we've shed for love.

So give it up, stop beating, hearts have gone cold
Had enough repeating, it's all been done before.
Give it up, stop beating, hearts have gone cold
Hey now, when we gonna wake up?

But fools gold shines like diamonds in our eyes
Thought we had a million, but, baby, we got nothing
But fools gold shines like words that make us cry
We just keep on digging, find us something better
For the next time, next time
Something better for the next time, next time

Bobbing my head to music blasting from my phone, I grow bored. I look around at my empty dorm room. I've been focusing on my grades and schooling the past few weeks here, I haven't ever thought of making friends. Ridiculous, I know.

I change into simple dark jeans and a black, long sleeve, v-neck shirt. I slip on my brown combat boots and fern green overcoat. I grab my bag and leave my room.
In the hallway a pretty girl and a tool looking guy, unfamiliar to me. Holding hands and laughing, young love was always a beautiful thing.

I travel down the long corridors of NYU, across the courtyard, and down every hallway I've never been. Traveling to the hallway where professor Kennedy is, his english history class I take with Octavia and the poetry class I wish to take.
Just as I pass his classroom, I notice Bellamy walk out.
I grab his arm to stop him," Hey."

He looks at me, surprised, but it's quickly replaced with a dorky smile. " Hi..What are you doing here?"

" Uh, you know, learning my way around." I say with a laugh. I feel now like I caught him off guard, maybe he was making his way to somewhere important.

He laughs," That's always fun. Mind if I join you on your walk?"

I nod," Yeah, I mean I'm just wondering around."

He shrugs," I could show you those notes? If you were still planning on taking poetry."

I nod," Oh, yes. I am. I talked with Mr. Kennedy, he has available spots in his class."

He smiles," That's good to hear."

" I'm also taking up a yoga class, that'll be interesting."

" My-y notes are in my dorm, my roomates are probably out, I can lend you them."

" Sure." I respond. A sort of comfortableness flushes over me when I'm around Bellamy. It's a weird feeling, I don't know why I just really feel different around him. A different me than I am around Finn, whether I mixed feelings about him too or not.
Finn is just sweet and outgoing to everyone, and Bellamy has the vibe of a player.
But I get another vibe from him...something I think he hides from everyone.
-
He opens the door and stands aside to let me in. I step inside, cringing at the stench of alcohol. He notices my reaction as he closes the door behind him. He hesitates to take my hand but then pulls me into another room. Bellamy's hand warmer than I expected, a soft warm, not like a warm from sweat. He shuts the door," My roomates...like to party. A lot."

I look around the walls, the cleanliness in here surprises me. I expected posters and dirty t-shirts all along the floor.
I laugh.

He looks at me, trying to study my expression. He doesn't know me well enough to read my thoughts yet. He asks," What?"

" Not what I imagined your room to look like." I say with some sarcasm. He even has a digital alarm clock, set in military time. I wonder why?

He responds," You've thought about my room?" He laughs and looks at me with raised eyebrows. He looks through his desk and pulls out a notebook.

I laugh," No, that's not what I meant." He hands me his notebook, I peek at the first couple pages, getting a look at his handwriting. Neat for a guy's. He keeps surprising me and he doesn't even know it.

He laughs," I'm just messing around with you." His eyes linger on me for a while, and I stare back. Moments like this where people get creeped out, but it's just a passionate staring contest.

I slowly take off my jacket and sit down on his bed. Noted, it's not fully made, and I start to wonder how he sleeps.
I take my notebook out my bag and open it up. Deeply thinking as I am, I drop my notebook near my feet. Bellamy casually darts forward and kneels down, picking it up, touching my hand as I reach for it. I awkwardly laugh and pull away. He hands me the notebook," Here, sorry." He shakes his head. Why is he always so nervous? Am I that intimidating or does he just really like me? Probably not the latter one.

" You didn't do anything." I respond, lightly. I hope that wasn't harsh, I was just being honest. I have a habit of not thinking before I talk, I'm just too bold that way.

Still kneeling in front of me, he cautiously asks," Are you hungry?" His head tilts after his question, like a dog after you use a new expression it's not use to.

" I haven't eaten much today, only a vending machine sandwich..." Red rushes to my cheeks, pour your whole dietary scedule on him why don't you, Clarke?

He chuckles and drops his head. I like when he laughs like this, his cheeks rise and turn a light pink. He asks," I don't know if this is too forward or not, but what do you say about grabbing something to eat? I'll drive." His confidence surprises me, finally found an initiative, I presume.

I give a pondering look," I hardly know you, Bellamy." I respond in a half jokingly manner. My attempt at flirting.

He smirks," Then I'll tell you all you want to know. While we eat some real food. There's a great diner, just in the city. If you don't like their chicken pot pies, I swear I won't bother you ever again."

I laugh," You're real persistant aren't you?" I gather our notebooks in a pile, not had even started copying them down. He easily distracts me.

He nods," I can be. I like to get what I want." His shoulder shrugs, and I feel myself tense up. If he plans on trying to make any more bold moves, I'll have to slap him.

" Oh, and what's that, Bellamy?" I say, perking my eyebrow. Drawing myself right into the seemingly trap.

He slowly sits up, sitting down next to me. He leans forward and whispers," A chicken pot pie." He instantly smirks, he knows he's funny.

I laugh and push him away, making him laugh more. I say," It will give me time to copy your notes."

" Good." He says in a gentle voice. He walks to the door and I stand up, grabbing my things and following him out. If I had any thoughts of Finn, or any feelings toward him, they blow right out the window of Bellamy's car.

*** A/N

HAHA okay I really really really liked this part, BUT I might just delete or re-do it, I just don't think I'm staying in to their character, but that's only because this is different than the show/books
~Please leave some feedback & ask any questions if you want (:

& THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR 300 READS, THAT IS AMAZING!! ily all + please keep spreading & voting xoxo