Gone || Ashton Irwin

Chapter 7

“Valerie, get up.” My mom urges me, shaking my shoulder gently.

“No.”

“Valerie, you have to go to school.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Valerie, I’m done with you moping around. Getting up and doing things will make you feel better. Sitting in bed crying all day is only gonna make things worse. Please, just get up and get ready.”

“Okay.” I sigh, sitting up. My mother smiles and leaves without another word.

I force myself out of bed and grab another one of Ashton’s shirts and a pair of jeans. I drag myself to the bathroom and take a quick shower. I change sluggishly slow, staring at my reflection in the mirror. My cheekbones are becoming more prominent in my face and I can see my collarbones clearly. I pull Ashton’s shirt over my tiny frame and slip on my jeans that are already getting too big for me. I brush my teeth and don’t bother doing anything about my hair. I just leave it down and wet.

I walk into the kitchen and grab my backpack. I sling it over my shoulder and slip my shoes on before walking out of the house.

Luke is waiting in the parking lot.

He never got in trouble for what he did. The teachers took into account all the emotional trauma Luke had been through in the past few weeks and punished James for instigating the whole situation. Luke had been pitied.

I open the passenger seat of the car and slide in without a word. Luke gives me a forced smile, which I promptly return, before he pulls out of the parking lot. As we drive to school, I notice Luke starts crying. Tears are streaming down his face, but he doesn’t make a sound. I reach over the gearshift and grab his hand, tangling our fingers together.

“I miss him so fucking much.” Luke whispers, his voice breaking.

“Me too.” I respond quietly.

“We gotta get out of here, Val. We gotta do something. We can’t just sit here and waste while Ashton gets help. We need to do something-”

“Luke,” I tell him gently. “We can’t just leave. I’d love to, Luke. You have no idea how much I’d love to leave but we can’t just leave. We can’t drop everything and go.”

“But I wanna die.” Luke chokes out, pulling over to the side of the road. He holds his hands up to his head and starts sobbing uncontrollably. “I don’t wanna live without Ashton, Valerie.”

“Luke, he’s alive-”

“Hardly. Because I was a horrible friend and I didn’t notice that anything was wrong. He always seemed okay to me, but look at how things ended up. He almost fucking died. Do you know how much blood he lost, Valerie? All because I was a horrible friend and I never thought about asking him how he was. He always seemed fine. It’s all my fault. I never noticed. I never helped him.”

“Luke-” I croak out, tears beginning to fill my eyes. “Don’t say that. It’s not your fault. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine. I knew about it the whole time and didn’t say shit.”

“You what?” Luke asks, looking up at me, hurt flashing in his eyes.

“He told me he was better, Luke. He lied to me. I thought he was okay. I was trying to help him and he told me I was. He blatantly lied to me and-”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?!” Luke yells. “He’s my best friend, Valerie! I’ve known him my whole fucking life and you suddenly decide that you’re more important because you’re his girlfriend? That’s shit, Val! That’s fucking shit! I deserved to know! You should’ve told someone! How the fuck could you keep the fact that the love of your life was suicidal? How could you fucking-”

“Luke, I know!” I choke out. “I know. I’m a fucking horrible person. He almost died because of me. I’m so fucking stupid.”

“No offense, Valerie, but get the fuck out of my car.” Luke says through gritted teeth, clutching onto the steering wheel so tightly that his beat up knuckles are turning white.

“None taken.” I let out with a broken laugh, forcing my tears back. I open the door and stand on the sidewalk, looking back at the car one more time before heading home.

 

~~~

 

“Valerie, the school called and told me you were gone today.”

“Yeah.”

“I thought you got ready for school.”

“I did. And I went. Well, halfway.” I say with a shrug of my shoulders, playing with the food on my plate.

“What do you mean halfway?” She asks, sliding into the seat in front of me with a sigh.

“Luke and I got in a fight. Then I walked home.”

“What was it about?”

“What do you think it was about?” I ask with an eyeroll.

“Well I have a few guesses.” She tells me with a soft smile. We sit in silence for a moment before she speaks up. “You’re going to your dad’s house this weekend.”

“Fuck no.”

“I think it’ll be good for you. Just to get away for a little bit. I mean, you’ll still have to go to school but you won’t just been trapped in these four walls, you know? It’ll be good.”

“I don’t wanna go with dad.” I mutter, pushing my plate away.

“Take a bite.”

I take a small forkful and chew before standing up and going into the restroom. I sit on top of the counter for a few minutes before deciding to brush my teeth.

After my teeth are brushed and my breath smells like mint, I drag myself across the hall into my room. I look at my phone on the dresser and pick it up. Two missed calls.

I don’t recognize the number, but I dial it anyway. I don’t have anything better to do.

The line rings three times before someone answers.

“Valerie?”

“Patty?” I ask, pulling my knees to my chest.

“Hi, sweetie. How’re you doing?”

“Just dandy.”

“I wanted to invite you over for dinner tonight. I made ravioli and it’s-”

“I’d love to.” I tell her, feeling a small smile tug at the ends of my lips. “When do you want me to come over?”

“Is an hour okay?”

“Yeah, an hour is great.”