Gone || Ashton Irwin

Chapter 21

“So, he wrote you?” My mom asks, looking at me over her magazine.

“Guess so.” I whisper, staring blankly at the wall as I pet Winston’s head.

“Did you see any of the letters?”

“Nope.”

“So you’re not sure?”

“No, I’m sure.”

“So are you okay with him again?”

“We kissed yesterday.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“I didn’t feel anything.”

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“Yeah.” I sigh. “I want to love him, but I can’t.”

“Maybe you do. Maybe it’s just hidden deep down inside that black hole you call a heart.” She teases me with a smile.

“I don’t know, mom. He was like, my whole entire world and now I can kiss him without even feeling anything.”

“I think maybe you’ve just emotionally desensitized yourself. I mean, you’ve built up some sort of wall. I think you’re just scared to feel again, so that’s why you’re not allowing yourself to. I bet if you gave yourself a chance to process your emotions instead of pushing them to the side, you’d react more properly. Either that, or you really don’t love him. But no way in hell would you be miserable for someone you didn’t love. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Fair enough.” I tell her with a sigh. “I’m just so stressed out and I don’t know what to do and just, ugh.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Just give it some time. I’m sure everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.”

“Thanks.” I mutter.

“Now, I’ve got to get to my lunch date.”

“Have fun.” I tell her with a smile.

“Thanks, darling.” She says, getting off the couch. “Love you.”

“Take an umbrella. It’s pouring.”

“Alright, sweetie. See you later.”

“Bye!” I call out as she walks out the front door. I turn my attention to Winston as his eyes start shutting and his chest heaves as he inhales. “Fat son of a bitch.” I tell him with a smile.

I flip the television on and watch for a while as the storm intensifies. The rain is beating against the windows and the thunder is making the whole apartment rumble. Winston runs off the couch and starts whimpering.

“Dude, it’s a storm. Chill.”

He whimpers again and runs into the bathroom. I groan as I stand up and walk after him. “Winston, c’mere boy.”

The doorbell rings and I roll my eyes as I make my way towards the door. I open it and immediately regret it.

“Val-”

“Hi, Ashton. Listen, right now’s not a really good time-”

There’s a loud whimper from the bathroom and Winston darts out of the front door. “Shit!” I shout. “Winston!” I call out, pushing past Ashton and running out of the apartment building.

“Val, wait!” Ashton calls out, running after me.

“Winston!” I shout again, stepping out into the rain. My bare feet hit the cold cement and I shiver as I run forward. “Winston!”

“Val, hold on!” Ashton yells as he catches up to me.

“I can’t see him. I don’t know where he went.” I say, holding my hands up to my head. “Ashton, Winston’s gone.”

“We’re gonna find him.” Ashton tells me. “I’m gonna help you find Winston. I’ll call the rest of the guys and-”

“There’s not enough time for that, come on!” I say, grabbing his hand and running towards the park.

I can hardly see two feet in front of me because of all of the rain. There’s a loud rumble of thunder and I jump slightly. Ashton squeezes my hand reassuringly as we make our way to the park. I see lightning and pray that Winston’s okay.

Once we arrive at the park, I let go of Ashton’s hand and call out for Winston. There’s not an answer, or a whimper, or any sort of noise.. My feet are freezing, I’m sopping wet, and I’m crying. I fucking lost my dog.

Ashton watches me worriedly as I look around for Winston. He tries to convince me that I won’t be able to find him in this weather, and that if I stay out any longer I’ll get sick. I don’t listen to him and continue looking. He sighs and joins me.

He ends up dragging me home an hour and a half later.

“Come on, you’re okay.” He comforts me as I step in through the front door, shivering and crying.

“What about Winston?” I sniffle.

“He’ll be okay. He’ll come back.” Ashton says, taking his shoes off. “Let’s get you some warm clothes, c’mon.”

I nod slowly and follow him into my room. I open my drawers and grab some warm pajamas. I look over at me and see that he’s shivering slightly. I open another drawer and throw one of his shirts, a pair of his boxers, and a pair of his sweatpants at him. His eyes widen like he’s surprised but the look on my face stops him from asking about it. He walks into the bathroom to change and I lock my bedroom door as I peel the wet clothes off of me.

Once I’m changed, I unlock the door and see Ashton leaning against the opposite side of the hall. He gives me a soft smile and I return it awkwardly as I rub at my eyes.

“You want some hot chocolate or something?” I ask him as we walk into the living room.

He shrugs. “Sure.”
I nod and walk into the kitchen, Ashton’s feet dragging behind me. I make the hot chocolate quickly and pour it into two mugs. Ashton grabs one and we walk into the living room and sit on opposite ends of the couch.

“Thanks for helping me look for Winston.” I whisper.

“No problem.” He tells me quietly, taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

I shiver slightly again and he raises an eyebrow at me. “You know, Val, if you’re cold-”

“Ashton-”

“I won’t think anything of it. C’mon, you just spent an hour and a half looking for your dog in the freezing cold in the middle of a storm. You must be frozen.”

I hesitantly nod and make my way over to his end of the couch. He wraps his arm around me and I rest my head on his chest. I shut my eyes and let out a sigh.

“You okay?” He asks me with a frown.

“Yeah. Just worried about Winston.” I mutter, setting my mug on the coffee table and curling up closer to him.

He rests his head on top of mine and sighs quietly. “He’ll be okay.”

“He’s a tiny dog and it’s a huge storm and-”

“He’ll be fine.” Ashton whispers.

“But-”

“I promise he’ll be okay, Val. He’s gonna come home after the storm dies down and you’re gonna be so happy to see him and he’s gonna be happy to see you and everything will be okay.”

“Promise?” I ask, looking up at him.

“I promise.”