Strawberries and Cigarettes

Chapter Forty-Two

Gay Thots

Jan. 26

2:09 A.M.

Jiminie; guys i don't know what to do

Jiminie; i've stress eaten three boxes of pockys all of the ice cream in the house, and all of the cheez its i could find and then I felt like shit for eating all of that and threw up and now the trash can outside is going to smell like vomit until thursday when trash runs and yoongi didn't even reply to me, so i think he just hates me now, so i'm going back to stress eating and will probably end up throwing up again

Jiminie; i don't know what to do to make yoongi forgive me

kookiemonster; i don't think hyung has it in him to hate you minnie

kookie; tae's right babe, but do you want an update on hyung? He isn't doing much better

Jiminie; don't call me that, tae

Jiminie; please, just don't

Jiminie; and no, i don't want to, but i do? But i don't

Jiminie; I don't want to imagine him in so much distress because i'm a fuck up

kookie; he doesn't think you're a fuck up jimin, but he told you a lot of stuff he probably would have never had told you if he'd know

kookie; he strives to mask himself as his confident scary smooth guy and he isn't that and he didn't want you to know that

kookie; he's still awake, he isn't going to school tomorrow thats for sure

kookie; he sat in the living room just staring at his hands crying, and i don't know why and i don't know how to help and i'm scared

kookiemonster; kookie baby... it's okay

kookiemonster; and minnie this isn't your fault okay, hyung wasn't nice to you at first, it's okay you were scared

Jiminie; i told you to stop fucking calling me that

Jiminie; and he has every damn right to be mad at me, and he shouldn't be crying over me, he should be yelling at me, he should be mad at me, not himself

Jiminie; you never listen to me tae, you're always to absorbed in trying to focus on one problem you forget to look at the big picture and the little fucking details

Jiminie; like i had specifically fucking asked for you to not call me that and you still did

Jiminie; fucking listen to me for once

kookiemonster; literally what the fuck. Listen, Jimin, I get that you are sad, and stressed and shit, but so are we okay? You don't know the shit we go through to try and make you and Yoongi happy, the bull crap I put up with in order to not make you mad, and whenever i state my mind and stop acting like a crack head for once you get fucking mad at me. I'm fucking sorry that i called you that but for fucks sake it's a damn name and i understand it's special to you but i have 500 things going through my head right now. I am fucking up at 2 am on a school night crying my eyes out for you, because i have never seen you so flustered and giggly and happy, and when hyung was around holding you everyone was in a better mood because you were both the happiest you've ever been