Bound to You

Chapter 12

I was watching TV the next day when my phone beeped. It was a text message, and it was from you.

Want to come eat bad cafeteria food with me?

I stared at the message for a long time. You were asking me to visit you at work?

My parents had left my mother's car for me to use while they were gone, and I was in the driver's seat so fast, I realized I wasn't wearing shoes.

I found you in the cafeteria when I got to the hospital. You were leaned against a wall, your arms crossed, dressed in dark jeans and a sports coat. You looked good enough to eat.

"Why do you eat the cafeteria food if you hate it so much?" I asked as we slid through the line, grabbing things and piling them on our plates.

You shrugged. "Food is food, I guess. I'm only here three days a week, so it's not too bad."

We took a seat in a quiet corner of the cafeteria. It was so bright, the windows letting in the sunshine, and you were glowing, your skin soft and illuminating, and it just confirmed everything I had been thinking since I fell asleep in the same room with you last night. I was in love with you. I was certain of it.

And you were smiling at me in a way you never had before. Like we were friends. Like you enjoyed my company. Like this was as easy for you as it was for me. You told me about how much you loved your job, your eyes all lit up, and all I wanted was to stretch across the table between us and kiss you.

Your smile faded while I watched you. "I must admit that I had an ulterior motive, asking you here today."

I chewed at the salad I got, suddenly nervous. "Yeah? What's that?"

You hesitated, your eyes moving around over my shoulder before focusing on me. "I have to go away for a little while."

I stopped chewing. "What do you mean?"

You chewed at the inside of your cheek. "I have to go to England. My father, he's not well, and I've finally convinced my mother to put him in a senior care facility. But she needs some help. I've decided that while I'm there, I'll help her get a few things sorted."

"How long?" Something inside me was tightening. You were going to be a whole ocean away.

"A few months. Maybe six or seven."

My mouth fell open. "That's almost a year."

You watched me, your eyes roving over my face. "I wanted to tell you because I know your parents aren't back for a few more days. I wanted you to know I won't be able to check in on you."

My cheeks flushed. "That's why you wanted to tell me?" I didn't even know what I was asking.

You were silent for a long time and then you said, "Your family has been very good to me."

I didn't know what you meant. Neither of us was eating anymore.

"When I first moved here, I didn't know anyone. I made friends at Yale but none of them stuck. When I started at the hospital, I was so lonely. The only people I ever had contact with were my patients. Your father plucked me out of my quiet life."

My blood froze. "What are you-"

"I hope you can see how much I value all of you." You weren't looking at me, and I couldn't figure out why. "Over these last two years, you've become like a family to me."

I shoved my chair back, away from the table. "We're not family "

Your eyes went wide. "What?"

I stood and pushed my chair in. "We're not family, John. We never will be."

Your mouth hung open. "I thought-"

"Have a nice time in England." I stormed away.

I thought about that day a hundred times while you were gone, and I could never decide between regret and longing.