Bound to You

Chapter 17

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was how fucking bright it was. The second thing I noticed was that I was definitely not in my bedroom.

I sat up quick and then groaned and fell back again. Fuuuuuuck. I took a second to look around, and everything seemed to come back to me then. Getting drunk with Aaron, deciding I needed to see you, showing up at your apartment.

Your apartment. That was where I was now. The room was bright, everything tan and white. I was in a huge bed, with white sheets and white pillows, and when I rolled over onto my side, I was excited to discover that everything smelled like you, like the way I imagined your skin smelled when you first woke up in the morning.

"John?"

The apartment was completely silent, and I lay still, waiting for a sound of any kind. Nothing. When I sat up, I realized I wasn't in my birthday dress anymore. No, now I was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a blue Yale sweater. I had a flash of the night before, throwing up on my dress, slipping out of it in the bathroom. Showering and putting on the sweats you left on the sink for me.

I rubbed my eyes. I couldn't seem to remember everything. I remembered talking to you, but I couldn't remember exactly what I had said.

I slipped out from between your sheets and crept over to the bathroom. My dress, black with sequins, was hanging from the doorknob, and when I gave it a sniff, it smelled like laundry detergent. It wasn't actually supposed to be washed in a machine, but it smelled good and looked intact, so I didn't care all that much.

But still, I decided not to put it on. For some reason I couldn't even fathom, I left it hanging in your bathroom, relishing the thought of wearing your clothes all day, and went into the living room to try to find you.

But you were nowhere to be found. There was no letter, no message, no nothing. Just a glass of water, two ibuprofen, and a banana on the counter. I downed the pills and the water, ate the banana, and when you still hadn't come home, I figured I should probably just go. Who knew what kind of mess I'd made in your life?

Out on the street, I realized I'd slept a large portion of the day away and that you were probably at the hospital. I should have been at home, packing for Yale. I felt a tightness in my stomach, like I might get sick again, but I ignored it and headed for home, glad for the warm morning that heated up my cold bones.

But I hadn't taken more than a few steps before a hand wrapped around my upper arm and yanked me off the sidewalk. In the darkness of the alley beside your building, I found myself looking up into the angry eyes of my boyfriend.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Aaron already had his large hand wrapped around my jaw, his fingertips pressing into my skin.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Lena?" he hissed. People walked by on the sidewalk, but no one looked over, no one saw us.

"I was just-"

"You were just whoring around?" he asked, his mouth pressed to my cheek. "Such a fucking slut."

"I didn't do anything," I sobbed, and I was relieved to be able to tell the truth. I didn't do anything, at least not what he thought I did.

"You're wearing his fucking clothes, Lena." He shoved me back against the building behind me and looked down at my outfit. I used the distance between us, pushing past him and trying to scramble out of the alleyway, but he just pulled me back, slamming me against the brick again.

"You don't just get to fuck around on me," he said, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and throwing me on the ground. I fell, hitting my head so hard on the concrete that I swore I heard something crack. The world started to blur, but I was still aware enough to feel it when he kicked me, hard, in the stomach. Again and again.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see. Every part of my body hurt by the time he knelt down so that his face was close to mine.

"I was really falling for you, Lena," he said. "And you had to go and fuck it all up." He fisted a hand into my hair just as I heard footsteps behind him, a figure over his shoulder.

"Hey!" an unfamiliar voice said, seconds before the world went black.