Bound to You

Chapter 26

I jerked awake to the sound of my phone ringing. A glance at the clock told me it was almost one in the morning. I'd fallen asleep with my face pressed to my microbiology textbook, my desk lamp still on and shining down on me. A month into the semester, and I was already a mess.

I grabbed for my phone without looking to see who it was, just assuming it was one of my parents. Who else would call me this late?

"Hello?"

"Lena." Your voice was in my ear, and I straightened in my seat, feeling panicked all of a sudden.

"John, what is it?" I hadn't heard from you in months, had assumed that whatever happened between us was over.

"Can you just talk to me?" you asked. "I just need to hear your voice."

My heart rate started to go back to normal, but I could still hear something in your voice, something tight and strained.

"John, tell me what's wrong. Are you okay?"

I heard your heavy breathing. "The nightmares never stop. It's been years and still they never stop."

I was already out of my chair, reaching for my keys. "It's okay," I said as I locked my apartment door. "John, you're not there anymore. You're here, with us."

"But I'm not, am I?" you shouted, and I froze with a hand wrapped around my car door handle. I was scared you were starting to hallucinate. "I'm not with you, Lena. I'm here by myself because I'm a complete moron. Because I woke up in your arms, your eyes all full of fear, and it terrified me. But God, Lena, I miss you so fucking much."

I took a deep breath, still holding onto my doorknob. Go, I told myself. Just go. I got in my car and listened to you breathe on the other end.

"I'm going to be a vet."

There was silence on the line for a minute, just like I planned. Anything to get your mind off the nightmares as I drove toward your apartment.

"You are?"

I smiled because you were the first person I'd told. "Yes. I've looked into vet schools when I graduate and everything. What do you think?"

"I think you're amazing."

At a light, I closed my eyes for a second. The last six months fell away. I didn't care about any of it. I just wanted to be in your arms.

"I think you're amazing," I said right back.

You sighed in my ear. "I don't know what's worse, waking up with someone next to me after the nightmares or waking up alone."

"You're not alone," I said, stomping hard on the gas pedal.

"Marie slept on the couch when the nightmares got bad. Said it ruined her sleep to hear me grunting and yelling."

I'd always hated Marie, but in that moment, I wished her dead.

"You're not alone anymore."

I listened to you talk all the way back Stamford. It was almost an hour long drive but I didn't care. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to hold you.

By the time I got to your apartment, your words were slurring, your voice sleepy. I still had my phone pressed to my ear when I knocked on your door.

"Hold on," you said into the phone. "There's someone at the door." You didn't sound concerned even though it was almost two in the morning. I heard you behind the door and hung up the phone. Your footsteps, then your hands undoing the lock, and then you were in front of me.