Bound to You

Chapter 20

I came home for Spring Break and tried to convince myself it wasn't just to see you. But I knew I was lying. And you seemed to know it too because you were always there. The whole week, you floated around the house, coming for dinner and dropping by to drop things off for Dad, and always smiling at me in a way that made my stomach clench with want.

"Feeling confident about finals?" you asked one evening as we lay by the pool.

I closed my eyes against the setting sun, but I could still feel your eyes on me, the way they had been all week. My parents hadn't seemed to notice, but I had. You watched me every time I moved, and I watched you right back.

Today, I was wearing my best bikini, and I wanted your eyes all over me. Your hands too. And your mouth. And God, I was wet and hadn't even been in the pool yet.

We were alone for the first time all week, and my nipples hardened at just the thought. You could kiss me right now. You could take off my bikini and make me come and no one would know. Dad was at the hospital; Mom was at yoga. But you were here.

"Sure," I said.

"Have you decided on a major?"

I looked over at you, and you looked away quick. I fidgeted in my lounge chair. Knowing that you were looking at me was seriously turning me on.

"I was thinking about Gender Studies."

You looked away from the empty pool then and raised your eyebrows at me. "Really? Sounds fascinating."

I pushed up in my chair, leaning on one arm to face you. "It is. My roommate is a Gender Studied major and I swear, the stuff she gets to study is incredible."

You smiled at me. "I love it when your eyes light up like that."

I felt my whole body heat. If I didn't get away from you, I was going to do something stupid, like wrap myself around you and beg you to take me.

I jumped up and went to stand by the edge of the pool.

"What are you doing?" you asked.

I looked at you over my shoulder. "I'm going to swim. That's what pools are for."

Your eyes scanned my body and then met mine. "Yes, I've become rather addicted to it."

Your eyes held mine, and I knew you wanted me to see your double meaning. God, why were you torturing me like this? I jumped into the pool. I let myself sink to the bottom, pressing my back to the floor and then, satisfyingly, I saw you jump in too. Your body was a ball in the water and then you uncurled and kicked off the bottom to launch yourself back to the surface.

I waited until you'd reached it to swim up and join you. I sucked in a breath and opened my eyes to find you watching me.

You smiled and swam toward me, and I swam away, certain, so certain that I couldn't control myself. Your bare chest was wet, your hair slicked back, your eyes on me like a predator, and fuck I wanted to reach down and undo the laces on my bikini.

"Lena," you said just as my back hit the wall.

"John."

Even though I'd thought it, it wasn't my mouth that said your name.

We both looked up, and there she was, Marie, here as always to ruin everything. Her eyes shifted back and forth between us, and I could only imagine how damning it all looked.

You didn't seem to notice. "Marie." You smiled up at her with a boyish grin, and jealousy pooled in my stomach. I wanted that smile to myself. "Come in. It feels great."

She scowled. You weren't good at taking hints. "I'm sure it does. But we're late for dinner. You need to get dressed."

"Oh right," you said, with a glance at me. "I, um, don't know if I'll see you before you go back, but if not, good luck on finals. Gender Studies sounds amazing." You held my eyes a beat too long, and I wanted Marie to go away. I wanted to find out what you would have done if we were still alone.

I watched you disappear into the house with Marie and figured it was probably time for me to get dressed too. I was supposed to meet Allie for a movie.

Inside, the house was cold and I wrapped my towel around my body. I expected to find Marie waiting for you by the door but instead, I heard her voice coming from one of the guestrooms.

"...hate seeing you with that little slut," I heard her hiss. I froze outside the door, feeling a lump in my throat at her words.

"Don't you dare speak of her like that." I'd only ever heard that kind of anger in your voice one other time, the night we sat in your car and talked about what Jason did to me.

"She walks around with hearts in her eyes, and I've seen the way you look at her."

"I don't look at her any particular way. What should I do, never make eye contact?"

"Oh please, John. You're not looking at her eyes."

You made a disbelieving noise.

"She has no manners."

"Oh, yes. I forgot it was bad form to wear a bathing suit in the pool. How inappropriate of her." I almost smiled at your sarcasm.

"You know what I mean, John. I won't watch you prance around, drooling after a teenager."

The room went silent then, and even though I wanted to hear more, I rushed down the hallway for fear of being caught.

I went to my room and shut the door behind me, leaning against it. I didn't know whether to be pleased or not. Was she right? Were you drooling after me? All I knew was, you were marrying her next month, and there was nothing I could do to stop you.