"That one afternoon, I kissed you. In the middle of the street, where a white truck zoomed past our connected lips. And boy, it caused problems we couldn't have seen, but wasn't it also amazing?"
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"I fell in love with another man, Deen."
The words didn't seem real as they came from Paislee's mouth. I couldn't picture it. Love? I was so prepared for what she was going to say before, but this wasn't what I had in mind. It was silent between us. Our dinner had now turned into something completely different.
"You fell in love?" I asked slowly.
"I—I did. I fell hard, and fast, and was deeply in love with that man."
I didn't want to admit it, but deep inside I was troubled. Just the thought that someone might still love Paislee and she might even love them back was a hard pill to swallow. We were friends but I'll never forget how she made me feel three years ago. To imagine that another man had the same feelings I had with Paislee was perplexing me.
I started to wonder about how much Paislee had changed. Maybe she found traits in him that she could never find in anyone else. Maybe they created memories that would forever stick in her mind. Thoughts of him still being in Paislee's life came to mind. The thought of Paislee falling in love with another man was mind-boggling.
"Do you still love him?"
She paused and in her eyes, I saw the contemplation. I also saw the hurt and the memories flashing in her head. I couldn't differentiate between her wanting to yes or no, and that scared me.
"If you would've asked the old Paislee, then I would say, without a doubt, I still love him. I would tell you that he has my heart in his hand and I would go anywhere he goes. Now, no, I don't still love him. Love caused me to look over a lot of things," she responded.
"You sure? I know you, I can see something in your eyes. There's something and maybe it isn't love but it's there."
She smiled softly. "You're right. You do know me, but what you're seeing isn't love. It's learning actually. I learn something new about myself each time that I think about him. Every time I think about Dennis. Saying his name feels weird."
She giggled nervously and hugged herself as if his presence was felt in the air. I stared at her, looking at this creature that I had so much to figure out about. She had so many pieces to her like a puzzle and it wasn't until then that I realized that I probably only had two pieces.
"Tell me about him. Tell me about your love, your relationship. I wanna' know," I said.
"When I was steady with him, everything in my life was perfect. That's one of the reasons why I loved him so much. He was such a mellow charmer and at the time, all I needed was love. He gave me that and he always told how beautiful I was and how he could see our future. Even went as far as talking about children. And at the time, I was not prepared for any of that but since I was so in love, I made myself think I was."
