Good For You

(Chaoter.42) Crashing World

"Well basically what has happened is there is a lot of stress on the baby.  The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. I'm sorry but she's gone. We are going to have to do surgery to remove everything. I'll give a few minutes to prepare." The doctor said then exited the room. I instantly lost all the breath in my body. I started balling. Ace was crying as well. He held me tight. I can't believe I was so close to becoming a mother. Now it's gone, she's gone. I was so excited and I knew Ace was going to be a great father. But now that isn't going to happen. We won't get to see what she looks like or see her smile. We won't ever get to meet her.
After about twenty minutes of balling the doctor came back in and we did the surgery. 
I got Ace to tell our families in the waiting room what was happening. I couldn't bare the idea of facing them. He also got them all to leave. 
After a few minutes it was time to go home. 
When we got there I immediately went to the freshly painted room. I picked up the bag of decor and slammed it on the ground. I then fell to my knees and cried. Ace came in and held me tight. It was as if the world was crashing around me. I felt so much pain that was unbearable. Nothing that anyone said made it better either. 
After finally getting myself halfway together I decided we should talk.
"So what color should we paint the room?" I asked.
"I think the gray is great. We should leave it. Matthew already took the registry down and the clothes back. I wish there was something I could say to make this better but I know there isn't." Ace admitted. 
"I feel the same about you honestly. I love you and I'm glad we are here together. I can't imagine going through this with anyone else." I explained. 
"Well you just made it better." He said.
He got a slight smirk out of me I'll admit.
I then went downstairs and grabbed some food. Ace had a meeting to attend to. So after I ate I decided I'd swim. I put on my black floral tankini and headed for the pool.
I looked at the perfect blue water. I felt the simplicity in it. Just looking at it made me feel calm. I wish everything was as simple as water. I wish anything in my life was simpler. I then took a deep breath and drove in. I felt the cool water wrap around my body, it felt almost like a hug. I felt everything washing away even if it was just for a second, it still felt good. 
I poked my head out of the water and saw Alisha approaching the pool in a blue with white polka dot tankini on. 
She jumped in the water and swam to me.
"Hey, how are you?" Alisha asked.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Ace didn't want you to be alone so he called me. So how are you feeling?" She asked.
 "Pretty terrible honestly. But I'm trying. I guess that's all I can do." I said.
"Yeah that is all you can do. I'm sure there is nothing anyone can say that will make it better. But let me tell you a story that I've never told anyone." Alisha said. 
"Okay I'm all ears."
"Well when I was in high school I got pregnant by this super popular baseball player. We had been secretly dating for about four months because we didn't want anyone in our business. We were crazy about each other. When I found out that I was going to be a mom I was terrified.  I was scared to be a parent and scared of all of the judgement that I thought I'd get. We agreed that regardless of fear that we were going to keep the baby and be parents together. Well two days before my four month check up I woke up bleeding and with severe stomach pain. So we went to the doctor and they told us the baby was gone. In that moment, I felt lost. I had spent time preparing to be a mom. I was prepping how to tell people and everything. I broke down. I dumped the baseball player and we promised to never tell anyone. But I just told you." Alisha explained.
"I had no idea I'm so sorry. I can't believe you kept all of that to yourself. You're so strong. Thank you for telling me though. I don't feel so alone now. So thank you for that. What's new with you? " I asked.
"No problem, I'm glad I could help at least a little. Well I met a guy. He's amazing actually." She said.
"Like fuck buddy amazing, or one night stand amazing?"
"Neither. Alice I really like him. I've been going on dates with him for about a month now. I really like him a lot. I'd love for you and Ace to meet him. I think the pool is the perfect place!" She said. 
"I'd love to meet him.  Yes I'll text Ace to see if he can come home." I said. 
"That sounds great!" Alisha exclaimed. 
"Ace said he will be home soon. He's getting Matthew to grab pizzas." I said.
"That's amazing. I just texted my man to see if he's available. "
"Oh he's your man? It must be serious. Does this man have a name? " I asked. 
"Yes his name is Dawson. He just texted me and said he's on the way and he's excited to meet you guys. Just think both of our men will be all shirtless in swimming trunks." Alisha said. 
"Hey, no having sex in my house." I said with a laugh. She laughed too.