This body you hate,
This soul on which guilt you wear,
This head that you hang low in shame of all its ugly glory,
This repugnance that you give your own parts in wholes every now and then,
This self-loathe........
is a disrespect.
This detest for your self is disrespect.
And I can hear you scoffing at me through this screen, questioning my word, asking - "Disrespect to who? ' Cause self-respect is not a thing that I practiced anyway"
So let me clear things up for you
for it isn't as simple my love,
This loathe,
This hate
that you give to the person in the mirror is not a disrespect to that person
or to you.
This is a disrespect to every ounce of blood that makes you.
This is a disrespect to every little piece of sweat that you dropped on the floor, working your heart off for something that you didn't expect too much from.
This is a disrespect to every tear drop that birthed from your eyes to relieve you of pain that you've been through every day in this life.
This is a disrespect to the nine months that worked on every part of you to create your whole.
This is a disrespect to the nine months that all creation came together to make you.
I'm not letting you stomp your foot on this beautiful gift and runaway into the heavy rains that drown you in the grief of what you're not.
Let me undo this disrespect to the nine months of creations and turn time to make you a space where you do not hate the inches of skin that metre into your existence.
Your precious existence.
SELF LOVE IN NINE ACTS.
ONE
You wanna post an instagram story with oranges from 50 other people and yourself, drawn on it? - do it.
You wanna make Tik tok videos 'cause they make YOU happy? - do it.
You wanna do things that aren't necessarily conventionally 'cool' ? - do them.
You have an 'ugly' laugh? - laugh it in the face of everyone who told you that.
NOBODY gets to take away from your expression.
NO FUCKING ONE.
TWO
Do things outside the 'Gender norms' if they make you happy
If it makes you happy, it is normal.
THREE
Love others.
This earth isn't perfectly round.
It is somewhat spherical and even uneven in a lot of parts, but one end is definitely connected to the other - there is no corner.
So love others - there is no love that you throw into this world that won't come back at you.
This one time a classmate of mine was so heartbroken, you could read her hurt on her face no matter how bad she tried to keep it together. We had no friendship in the ground between us so there was no way I could build her a home of comfort in the little space we shared. But I wanted to comfort her.
We weren't friends so I hadn't loved her a day before and I had no idea about the day after, but in that moment I loved her, in that moment I wanted to ease her pain, so I went back home and I sent her a couple memes about this show I knew she liked and I don't know if I could make her laugh even for a split second and I don't know if I made a difference at all, but I threw love at her and it made me love myself a little more than I had before.
Love others.
There is no such thing as unrequited love,
To each one of you here with a broken heart from love that never came back, this world may not be a perfect circle but trust me it has no corners and the ends do meet after an edgy walk.
Luna's mother said, things we lose have a way of coming back to us if not always in ways that we expect.
FOUR
Create the art you are not good at but want to try, because art is an expression and was not ever an obligation.
FIVE
Sexy dance to crazy Kiya re at 3 a.m.
Peak self - love.
SIX
Cry.
If it hurts,
If it pains,
If the grief is too much and you're all by yourself,
Cry,
It gets better.
SEVEN
A Tummy Tucker might slim you down to fit that dress or an oversized T-shirt might make it look like you have a little more skin on your bones but beneath that layer you're still how you're.
Learn to love that.
EIGHT
When it feels like you can't do something,
Tell yourself,
I ain't got this, but I can get this.
You can get this.
NINE
Stream epiphany, it all gets better.
