My heart is a music album of public songs that I released back in two thousand and eleven. I have never looked back to see if they cared enough to play my songs on the radio, listened to my voice in them and understood what my lyrics said. I just secretly keep adding new tracks to it that I know I will never release. So far in the list of holding back is a love song, a sad song and the song with the disco dance I perform in the closed doors of my bedroom. What I mean is at nine years old, I gave my heart out like free hugs. I gave it to the balloon guy, to the horse cart uncle, to the chocolate shop aunty, I gave it to them in my smiles, in my questions about their days and in my genuine love for them. I didn't care if they were catching my love, I just kept throwing it at them like I was a factory owner making mass productions of love packages.
Today, nine years later since, I was nine I don't know why I can't give my heart out even when I want to so bad. I just foolishly keep wanting people to listen very close when I play these songs to myself in my earphones, just in case, there is a fault in them that they play loud enough to be heard when you come too close. I want you to listen to my songs, every beat and every drop, all of it even though I won't let you. I keep pretending there are no seats left in my stadium heart, but to be honest it's like a sold out show with seats that were bought by people who never actually showed up. Just come close maybe take a seat here and hear my song, will ya?
