twitter. | michael clifford

twelve. [m.g.c]

twelve. [m.g.c]

26 days until the Sydney concert and I was unsure what to do. On one hand she needed to know it was me, on the other hand, I wanted to keep the act up.

After the boys and I left Caseys last night I just wanted to go back in, cuddle with her, talk to her, see her smile, and the way she tucked her hair behind her ear and flew her hand automatically to her mouth when she giggled.

"It's not good you know, for either of you" Ashton said, shaking me out of my day dream.

"What do you mean" I spoke in a defensive manner.

"Lying. You can't keep this act up you know Michael, it's going to end badly"

I knew in some sense he was right but I was never gonna let him know that. I was convinced it would all be okay.

"Ash I have a plan it's going to be okay"

"And what is that?"

"I'm going to keep seeing her, going out during the day with her as Michael. And also talk to her as Sam. On the day of the Sydney gig I will make my mind up, whether to tell her or not"

"And if you choose not to tell her, what you going to do? Pretend like you're some random guy from Sydney that is just fake"

"No. I'll delete the account. Sam will no longer exist in either decision."

"You better do this right Michael, she seems like such a nice girl"

"Well im not being funny Ashton or should I call you 'Alex'? Youre not better"

"Whatever, just dont hurt anyone" he huffed as he walked off.

I sighed, walking towards the bathroom. I was sick of people telling me what I should or shouldnt do, I was going to deal with this situation myself and not how anyone else wanted me to. I really felt something towards Casey, i really did. I was scared though. I was scared that she didnt feel the same, that she would go back to Callum, because it seemed like they had a past together. As I washed I started to get frustrated, this was never going to work out the way I wanted it to. I just wanted Casey. I wanted to cuddle her, laugh at her jokes and draw on her wrist everytime the drawing faded just for a reminder that I was there with her all the time. But I was so naive, I could never be with her in a million years, and it broke my heart. I was beginning to get angry, the heat from the water wasnt helping me. I punched the shower wall.

This was hurting my head, and my heart and my chest.