Something Gained

Explantion

                    I sat down with my knees to my chest. I needed to calm and center myself. That was so much to handle in one night. I wasnt sure what to do with myself after that between Cam and James. I just know that Ella and Cam were worried. Ella excused herself because she knew that James was drunk and angry. She was worried as to what he'd do so she went to go find him. She apologized to us up and down that she would be back to talk to me and see if I am okay. The truth was, I was okay in a sense because I knew I was safe but the same time I was scared because it brought back so many emotions of my past. The past I was hoping that I could get away from here. But I Guess you can't really escape your past at all.

                          I started crying pretty hard. I don't know what came over me, but I just lost it. I sank down onto the ground and just cried. Cam came over by me and just held me tight in his arms. Rubbing my back. "Love, I am sorry you had to see that back there. I am sorry it scared you so much but I have to ask. What happened in your past that has you this scared? You don't have to tell me know. I am just curious." He said softly as he held me tightly. I sighed and wiped my tears. "There's a reason I transferred midyear. I was escaping my past where I almost died. My ex abused me for years. I finally got away because he cant leave the state. I am finally safe. But seeing the anger and shit between you and James brought back some of that Which is weird because like I said. I feel safe." I said

                               Cam just looked down and I could tell that he was struggling with what happened that he felt bad. He just sat there in silence for a bit until he finally spoke. "I am so sorry Kitten. I didn't mean to make you feel scared or unsure. When you told me that James kissed you. I saw red and decided that punching him was my best option. I'm sorry you had to see that and I'm sorry if you think I am a monster but I'd never hit you and neither would James. We aren't assholes like that. I love my brother I really do, but sometimes we just don't get along and do shit like that. But I promise you are safe." I could tell how emotional he was about all of this. It honestly made me feel even worse. Why was he apologizing for it?
        Maybe I should have been the one apologizing. I don't know why either. I'm dating either one of them. Am I attracted to both brothers? Unfortunately yes. They both have something that intrigues me into wanting to know more about each one. I am drawn to both of them. But its okay because like I said, I am not dating either of them at the moment so it's okay I have feelings for both. I guess time will tell who I like more. James has this bad boy, I don't give a fuck attitude and the Dom side that really had me going. Cam has this soft, Caring and loving side to him but I feel like he has a hidden side. That deep down he can get freaky. He just doesnt show it. I think Im on a wild ride with these two. Time to buckle up.