These are everywhere. There is always some book way to similar to twilight, you wonder how it has been copyrighted. It like the only thing they change is the main character from Bella McEmotionless to either her name or some random name she drew out of a hat like Beatrice or Nevaeh. It's not that they're bad...ok that's one one the reasons, but it's not the only one.
1) She always has to be a high school student, yet all the writers are in middle school.
2) The vampire is glistening, like wtf is he covered in glitter or something.
3)you might think his name would be something like Dracula because he's a vampire. nope. It's John.
4)when the writer clearly didn't turn on autocorrect:
"Jakeb, whi dident you notic me wen i scremed you name?", said Kren.
"Becuz I thouht you didnt like vapies." Jacb sais
"Don't wury, i'll alwyz luv yo."
5) When the book is made by a 12 year old girl, and you read this:
He started kissing and sucking my neck, making a loan moan escape my mouth. He moved his fingers from my shoulders to my thighs, stroking me ever so gently. And I couldn't take it anymore. I gave myself up to him. He undid my bra from under my shirt, taking both of them off. He then unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them off me, laying on the floor. My panties soon followed. I saw his excitement in his pants, so i pulled the off with my teeth, leaving him in just his boxers.
O_o like bitch, wtf you be watching? When i was your age, I was watching spongebob flipping fucking burgers and his deadbeat friend patrick sitting on his lazy ass all day....and Arthur. Arthur was the shit. DW's bitch ass ruining his life was the best.
6) Always says: Violence, Smut, Offensive language, rape, etc. RATED FUCKING G. What? Will you be reading that to little jimmy before or after the very hungry caterpillar??!
7) When they don't update for months, and when they do, its only an author's note. I don't wanna hear about how school is hard, just finish the damn story!
8) When they tell almost the entire story in the synopsis. Like what is this, Sparknotes?
9) When the word 'blood' or 'bad boy' is in the title, it gets 383578843942 reads. This is like the konami code for wattpad.
10) When the only friends she has is the second season of "Orange is the new black" and a bag of Doritos.
11) They end up on random categories like humor or Sci-Fi. Like bitch thats what the vampire and paranormal categories are for. Why the fuck would you see "100 of the best comebacks" next to "Bad Boy Vampire Is My Lover"?
YOU ARE READING
Rant Overload.
HumorRants are my favorite form of therapy (most of this was written in 2015, planning to revamp in 2018)
