I Don't Share

19: So Wrong, But So Right

A couple days had passed since the movie night with Spencer. It was like old times when everything was good between us. I couldn't help what I felt that night, like yeah, that's shitty to Jessica, but you have to follow your heart, right? Anyway, I have been trying harder with Jessica. And we have been having great times. But it would be better if we had great times as friends.

God, why is Spencer making me feel all these freaking feelings? She can just treat me like shit and apologize and everything is amazing again? What is wrong with me? I think my mom could tell something was wrong because she set down her iPad and pushed her glasses up onto her hair. She scooted closer to me on the couch.

"Honey... I feel like we haven't talked in a while. I have been so busy that I haven't been checking in." She patted my knee and I sighed.

"So Ariana has been making my life a living hell, Spencer wanted to be with her so bad that she joined in, and now Spencer wants to run back to me and I am letting her! I want Spencer back and that is so bad, right?" Mom blinked at me.

"Perhaps you looooove Spencer? Like, you enjoy Jessica's company, but you don't want to hurt her if you aren't feeling her romantically. As for Spencer, what she did was very hurtful and uncalled for, but she is human. I knew that Ariana girl was a bad influence." She shook her head.

I got up and went to my room. I threw myself on my bed and looked at my phone. There were several texts from different people. I decided to look at the text from Jack:

omg. i'm on a date with paul. you didn't tell me this man looks bigger in person! text you after the date. love you, hang out with someone!!

I smiled and swiped out. I had a feeling that they would hit it off. But I also have a feeling that he is going to still text Danny. Danny, the boy who made Jack confess his crush only to break his heart and say he isn't trying to talk to anyone right now, after severely flirting with him. It's like feelings for people change with the seasons. We are all just... playing. I opened the text from Spencer.

Dad is out of town, come sleep over, friend :)

You can sleep on the floor, if that makes you comfortable

I just don't want to be alone :((

I sighed and opened the texts from Jessica before I respond.

I'm getting on the plane now! I will text you if there's service there, but if not, stay safe and I will FaceTime you when I land back here. <3

I quickly texted her 'be safe, have fun <3' and then texted Spencer 'omw in 20 :P.'

With all the thoughts I had, my mind was spinning. I don't know what I want to happen and I don't know what to do! I need to at least tell the truth to Jessica, but she just left on her trip. My messages weren't sending, she already lost service. Spencer decided to come over and help me get a bag together. I told her I couldn't get out of bed.

Speaking of the devil, Spencer walked into my room with a big smile on her face. She grabbed my school bag, dumped everything out onto the floor, and went straight to my closet to pack my clothes. I laid there with my arms around my pillow and my legs sprawled out. She didn't even show me what she was putting in the bag. When she finished, she went to my bathroom and got my cosmetics. Then she grabbed my foot and pulled so hard, I flew off the bed and onto the hard wooden floor. My mom walked in with a Tupperware of brownies.

"You girls have fun. And remember, if anything happens, we are on speed dial. We don't want your father to worry and we are right next door anyway." She smiled and gave Spencer a hug before going down the hall to her room.

Spencer pulled me up and continued to hold my hand as we walked to her house. When we got inside, she led me to her room. She had put LED lights around her ceiling, and her room was red. She jumped onto her bed and played low music. I sat on her carpet and dumped my bag out to see what she had packed. My small grey pajama shirt and my velvet booty shorts. For tomorrow, a black long sleeve crop top and light blue ripped jeans. She had also packed my nice black bra and I shook my head. She would.

"You are not slick. I am keeping my sweatpants on, but I will change out of my day shirt." I nonchalantly threw off my shirt and put the pajama shirt on.

"Isn't it kind of hot in here though? I only packed those shorts because I know you get hot easily." She smirked. Phew, good thing these lights are red, because my face is too.

"Guess I will sweat." I laid down next to her and looked at her non-glowing stars.

"Ariana came by earlier with flowers and tried to convince me that scheming was my idea. I laughed and shoved the flowers down her shirt, pretty sure the thorns weren't cut off." We laughed until I snorted, which made us laugh harder.

"Hopefully she moves again. I am done with drama." I said.

Spencer turned to face me, so I turned to face her too. She smiled and poked my cheek. I made a dumb face to make her giggle. I was getting hot, it was warm in her room like always. I sighed and got up, putting the shorts on. She woo'd and clapped which caused me to give her the middle finger. Then I jumped right back into bed, over the blanket. I needed to cool down.

Did I want something to happen tonight? I could feel the tension as if we were walking a tightrope.

Spencer put her hand down in a place which also happened to be touching my leg. Her hand slowly brushed up my leg. I couldn't do this to Jessica, but I couldn't move. She played with the hem of my shorts, the breathing hitched in my throat.

"I really did miss you, Amethyst. I shouldn't have let Ariana command me around like a dog. She just really made me feel bad that I left her in Texas so suddenly." I shrugged my shoulders and shifted so her hand would move.

"It's going to take time to completely forgive you, but we are cool. I just hope if there ever is a next time, that you'd take my side." I smiled and hugged her.

"You're the most caring and cool friend I've ever had. Thank you for being understanding and I get that you haven't fully forgiven me." She kissed my cheek.

All of me wanted to forgive her, but I knew I'd look stupid just running back. I checked my phone to see if Jack responded, still on his date. I didn't want to bother him. I tossed my phone onto the side table. Spencer could tell something was wrong.

"Spill." Was all she said as she sat up.

I sat up too and bit my lip. "Jessica is so good to me, and has been since we have met. But you come back to me and I can't help but to fall for-" Spencer cut me off by crashing her lips onto mine.

I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and kissed her harder. She put her hand on my lower back and the other on my thigh. Her touch shot so many tingles though my body. She laid us down as our lips moved like a dance we had memorized. Her hand traveled up my thigh and to the top of my shorts. Her thumb went under the waistband. I didn't want her to stop but this was so wrong already.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Note :)

It's been a very long time since I've added anything to this. I will be posting whatever's left and then I'll decide whether or not I'll give it a shot at ending it. To whoever's read the book up until any chapter past the first one, I want to thank you for making me feel good about my writing all of these years. While it still doesn't have that many views, having even one random pair of eyes giving this book a shot means the world to me. It motivates me to keep on writing.

While I haven't written anything for this, I have started so many more projects that there's probably more than 50 different ones in my drafts. It's a constant mental battle with the perfectionist side of me to post any of them just yet, but I hope I'll post them in the near future.

Thank you for reading I Don't Share, and I hope you enjoyed or are still enjoying it.