The Driven

Chapter 12

Thea

One year later.

It was as if life couldn't get any worse. Her husband was never home and her life sucked. She had done everything to get his attention, from wearing different styles of outfit to making grand plans for dinner.

First, she'd started dressing formal thinking that was what he liked, but that never worked. The secretary she was trying to copy was fired by Jamal himself. Thea had told the lady to help her clear his schedule some months back, she had wanted to surprise Jamal for his birthday while also rubbing her marriage in her face. Thea wasn't comfortable with how Jamal looked at her whenever she visited him in the office.

At that point, she'd thought the look meant something more, but she was wrong. After her attempt to surprise him failed miserably, she later learnt that her help was fired. When she had noticed her absence on one of her visits to her husband's office, she'd asked about her. Jamal had simply said, she had the nerve to clear his schedule without his permission. Thea has almost died of guilt, and she'd abandoned trying to please him after that.

She got over the guilt very quickly and gave up wearing formal clothes. She invested in tight gowns instead and spent money on six inches heels. Her husband had barely noticed the difference and so she had to find something else.

She had consumed so many books on how to please a man that she was a walking feminist's nightmare. She had praised him, cooked for him, cleaned the house and he barely noticed. How could he when he was barely at home?

She figured it was probably her skin. She had gone a month without using spray tan and the freckles on her face had stood out significantly. She'd also listened to a podcast where the woman said men liked naturally looking women. She had gotten rid of the wigs and extensions the following day.

One day, she saw him reading her magazine and he was staring at a model in particular. When Thea had asked him why, he had mentioned that he liked her skirt. Thea had found a boutique that sold pretty skirts and bought about twenty pieces. Then she had added makeup and wigs for extra effort.

The day she planned on visiting him at work with her skirt, he had told her not to bother as he was at a meeting that would last a while. Thea had just picked another day and had gotten the same excuse as before. She had to stop wearing the skirts, there was no point if he wasn't seeing them.

All the while, Hank always noticed. He noticed everything. If she wore a different perfume, he complimented it. She knew he was just being polite, but it touched her that he noticed. She just needed her husband to notice also.

Her visit to her dad was becoming more and more of a chore. She loved the man to death, but he could sense her attitude. He birthed her, after all. She had to always act as though everything was fine on the home front.

Jamal didn't find it funny that she had asked for her dad's help concerning his work. He came home one day and talked about getting a new job.

"Why?" Thea had asked, alarmed.

"Your dad wants me to work with less clients. I think he wants to let me go." He was pacing the entire length of the living room.

"No, he loves you."

"Not anymore."

Thea had of course had to tell him about their talk to put him out of his misery. "Babe, I need to tell you something. I don't want you to get angry."

He joined her on the sofa. "Did he tell you anything?"

"I kind of told him he was responsible for us not having sex."

"Thea?" he said in disappointment.

"I'm sorry, babe. He was asking about kids and it just slipped out of my mouth."

"You told your dad we weren't having sex?"

"Not intentionally." She pleaded with her eyes for him to understand.

"Is that all you told him?"

"Yes."

"It's fine."

Thea had sighed in relief. Jamal's actions had later proved that he wasn't fine with it. He had worked more and didn't come home at all for a week. That was her punishment, she understood and learnt to keep her mouth shut.

He had later apologized for spending so much time at work. He got her flowers and took her out during the weekend. They even went to the local stadium to watch a football match. He fell back to his old ways few days later, and it showed her that she just had to give him more time. He wasn't like others, he was different, a workaholic.

On some days she wanted to give up, on other days she wanted to do more. She could fight harder and learn to give him the space he wanted. She already learnt that going to see him at work distracted him, he was just too polite to directly tell her. She had also stopped trying to change her appearance. It didn't work, she had done it all wrong.

She had a different approach now. She would try not to care too much. She had stopped texting him all the time about a week ago. She pretended not to mind his absence from the house. It was all good. This was going to work, she could just tell.

Thea got ready for her outing. She met a woman recently who had been married for over ten years. Thea had become friends with her in an attempt to learn more about marriage from her. It had proved abortive as she was only interested in getting drunk in the afternoon.

She was a good sport though and Thea was giving her one last chance. Hank drove her to their favorite spot and she suggested he came back later for her. Thea waited for her friend and she arrived minutes later.

Her bangles jiggled and heads turned as she worked towards Thea. Amber was beyond gorgeous and Thea beamed when she got to her side. Amber kissed her on the cheek and took a seat.

"How are you, gorgeous?" she asked breathlessly.

"I'm fine. You look great."

"So do you."

They talked about fashion for a while and Thea pretended to be really interested.

"How's your hubby?" Thea asked stirring the conversation to a more serious direction.

"He's fine. Where's your driver?"

"He had to quickly run an errand. You're so lucky to be married for so long." She took a sip of her martini. "When I look at mine, I have doubts."

"We all have doubts. Just do what is expected of you; cook, bear his children and drink when your vagina gets fucked up from childbirth."

Amber made it so dark. "Surely, it can't be that bad."

"It is that bad."

Thea smiled awkwardly. "Yours is great though."

"That's because we both cheat." Thea gasped and Amber touched her hand lightly. "Why do you think they are hardly at home? I've given up hoping for better, he cheats, I cheat and we're both great at pretending everything is working."

"My husband doesn't cheat," Thea said confidently. "He's just a workaholic."

"Is he really a workaholic or is there something at home pushing him to spend more time at the office?"

"You can't be serious?" Thea asked in shock.

"Best believe I am, sweetie."

Amber ordered another glass of martini and Thea saw her in a new light. She was a fraud and nothing was more shocking. She was pathetic and Thea felt sorry for her.

Thea knew marriage wasn't all roses and sunshine. Even she was going through the dark times and wasn't as pragmatic as Amber. Surely, there was light at the end of the tunnel.

"I need to go, I'll see you later." Thea kissed her cheek and hurried out.

Her marriage was going to work and she didn't need Amber's dark energy discouraging her.