Not in the Same Way

Four

AN: I updated late last night as well so make sure you've read three first! -Sav 🖤

Sierra's words stay with me, swirling around in my mind for far longer than I find acceptable. I miss hanging out with them.

Hell, I miss feeling like I had friends period. It's funny how after you have a baby people you never expected to walk out of your life just up and disappear. Aside from my brother, the mess with Calum, and he and I's mutual friends my life our side of Ava Kai is pretty lonely.

I'd been fine with pretending for the last ten months or so. I'd joined the group for things and tried to play the part of being in a strictly platonic relationship with Calum.

I'd lied to myself and pretended it hadn't practically killed me to not want more with him. It was physically painful and after her birthday is when I had begun to pull away. I told myself it's what had to be done. I told myself I was protecting myself but now looking back I see there was perhaps a bit of unintentional collateral, like my friendships with all of the girls.

I miss not second guessing every decision, but when I'd seen Calum at Aves party, soaking in every moment, the picture of a perfect dad, I'd felt old feelings beginning to resurface.

The realization that I might still care for him in a not purely platonic way was frightening. I had to put Ava first and I wasn't, and still am not, willing to risk her having two parents who love her and are willing to work together to give her the best life possible.

Even if that means I have to make sacrifices. Even if it means being alone.

•

This whole dinner thing feels like a sham as soon as I arrive to the restaurant Ashton has given me the address to. I know why as soon as the hostess shows me to a back table where Ashton is seated, and he isn't alone.

I stop in my tracks, narrowing my eyes and staring at him as I await his response or excuse or however he plans to defend himself.

KayKay looks mortified and that tells me she was just dragged along into this by Ashton and not a contributor to whatever this is which makes me feel a smidge better, but not much. The other girl has dark hair and from the back she almost could pass as  a Darby look alike but then she notices Ashton's uncomfortable look and turns to face me.

I feel the disappointment set in as my mind confirms what I already knew. Ash is trying to set me up with someone.

"So the whole 'let's get dinner, just us' was obviously a ruse." I state coldly as I approach the table further.

"I just thought you could use a night out of the house mate. This is Kat." He gestures to the dark haired girl who obviously is just realizing I was not in on this little setup.

"I'm sorry you've gotten caught up in whatever scheme Ash is cooking." I huff, dropping down into the booth next to her. "I'm Calum. If it's not clear I didn't know I was being set up. I was under the impression I was going to dinner with my friend so I'm sorry to disappoint. To not waste any of more of your time I'd like to clarify that I don't date." I say nonchalantly as I open the menu. I'm already here so I might as well eat.

"You don't have to be suck a dick, mate." Ash replies.

I purse my lips, my tongue drifting to the top of my mouth as I clinch my jaw.

"I'd stop talking now if I were you." I say to him, my eyes rising just over the top of the menu to glare at him.

He glances over to KayKay nervously who only slumps her shoulders in defeat in response.

The waiter approaches and takes our orders, our food coming quickly and saving us from the forced and awkward conversation we are struggling through.

About half way through my noodle dish I decide to stop being a dick to the people who were put in this situation as unknowingly as me.

Ash is in his own.

"Sorry, I was rude before." I say quietly to the girl on my right. "I just...I'm going through some stuff and trusted Ash when he said it was just dinner. I'm not normally such a prick I hope I haven't offended you."

She finishes her bite of food before looking to me. She's pretty no doubt. I might even be in to her if I wasn't already so hopelessly gone for the mother of my child.

"Not offended are all." She says with a surprisingly understanding smile on her face. "So, what's her name?" She asks and I must look confused because she laughs as the silence stays between us.

"What? Are you used to being the one who reads people? Not so much fun when someone can get a read on you?"

The corners of my lip turn down.

"Something like that." I grumble before forcefully stabbing a noodle with my fork.

The girl, Kat I think Ash said her name was, hasn't done anything wrong per se it's just she's brought up thoughts of Darby I had been trying to distract myself from. If this is supposed to help me it's not working.

Ash pays the tab, I guess it's the least he could do after submitting me to this, and we exit the restaurant.

"So, um, I'm gonna take the girls to the club down the street. I assume you're probably not into that?" He asks scratching at the back of his neck, nervous energy radiating off of him in waves.

Every fiber of my being seems to want me to go home. I don't know why, there's nothing waiting for me there except Duke.

Fuck it.

"Don't suppose a few drinks could hurt anything at this point." I say lightly.

Ash fails to keep the surprise off his face as I follow after them, falling into step as we walk the few blocks to the bar. I stop short when I realize where we're going.

"Really, mate?" I say to Ash, lifting my chin and gesturing to the club he's picked for the night.

"Didn't think you'd make it this far into the night if I'm being completely honest." He admits with an indifferent shrug. "Come on, you're already here and it used to be your favorite."

"Yeah, key words there are 'used to be.'"I complain as I let him lead the way through the door after we are cleared by security. "That was before everything with Darbs went to shit."

"Cal!" Ashton says whirling around time face me. "I get it, you're in love with Darby. You know it, I know it, everyone in the whole damn city knows it. But you blew it. You can't just sit in your house alone every night and you can't come here and sulk every time we actually get you out the house, I won't allow it. I miss my best friend. I miss fun, energetic, Cool Guy Cal. I know you're irritated with me but I just wanted you to have fun for the first time in forever. So sue me. But dear God at least pretend to have a good time so the rest of us can."

He turns away from me, grabbing Kay's hand and leading her away into the throng of people.

I groan as I look around the bar for familiar faces, even the Kat girl seems to have disappeared.

The bar is only a few feet away so I pull out a barstool and take a seat.

"What'll you have?" A burly man behind the counter asks me.

"Whiskey neat, a double please." I reply quickly, removing my wallet from my back wallet and handing him my card to open a tab, if I'm gonna be out and alone at least I can be drunk.

An: Damn cold Cal

Ash just wants to help him 🥺

Thoughts so far?

Back to morning updates now!

Ily
Sav 🖤