Not in the Same Way

Five

A loud pounding on my door pulls me from my Netflix binge of some shitty reality show. My heart races, it's pace only quickened by the full glass of wine I'd had earlier in the night. I grab the baseball bat from beside my bed and pad quietly to the front door.

I close one eye and press my hand against the door as I lean down to glance through the peep hole, my whole body relaxing when I see who is on the other side.

I quickly unlock the deadbolt and chain lock before opening the door. The quick removal of the door causing Cal to stumble forward, his weight no longer supported by it.

"What on earth are you doing?" I ask incredulously as he braces himself on the door frame and rights himself.

"Had t' see ya." He slurs, taking a step forward. "Miss you."

"What?" I ask trying to process him being on my front stoop at half past one in the morning.

"I said I had to see ya, Darbs." He repeats, his words slow and far too loud. His eyes are glassy and his movements uncoordinated. He's drunk. Apparently his alcohol level has inhibited his knowledge of appropriate volume.

"Calum, your daughter is sleeping. What do you want?" I ask.

I don't know what I'm hoping his answer will be. But, surely, there has to be a reason he found his way to my doorstep at this time of night.

"Darby, Darbs, let me in."

"Please." He practically begs after a moment of indecision passes.

I bite back my lower lip and step just a bit to the side to allow him to gain entry.

He steps through the door and I shut it behind him.

Crossing my arms and leaning against it as I study him. He moves through my living room like a clumsy giant. I don't know how much he's had to drink but apparently it's a fair bit.

He falls onto the couch and lays on it face down for a moment before rolling over to look at me with a smile.

"You so fucking pretty, Darbs. Why'd I have to fuck up everything with us?" He whines.

I break my eyes away from him and shake my head. We're back to irresponsible drunk Cal I see.

"Calum..." I start but he groans.

"Don't yell at me. I know I shouldn't have drank okay, okay." He says holding a hand up to me. "Please...just come here." He says extending his arms to me. Pity fills my chest as I look at him, his eyes are sad and pleading.

My restraints are dwindling quickly, even if I know that even letting him in the front door was probably a mistake.

"Cal, you can't do this to me."

"To you? Do this to you?" He asks, his voice switching from desperate to irritated so quickly it gives me whiplash.

"Yes. This isn't the first time you've said shit like this drunk. It is the first time you've shown up in person and not just called but you don't mean any of this." I say quickly growing exasperated.

"I mean it all, Darbs. I'm not that drunk." He says it seriously but I can hear the slur of his words, can see the in-fluidity of his motions and the glaze that covers his eyes.

"It's not going to work Cal. You've done this before." My words come out weak and unsure as he stands and comes closer.

My breathing hitches as he walks until he's just in front of me, his eyes looking deep into mine as his hand drifts up and he brushes a strand of my hair behind my ear.