Not in the Same Way

Twenty

I wake up the next morning before Cal. He'd been up late the night before trying to promote the single.

I do my best to tread quietly through the house, grabbing Ava from her crib when she wakes and carrying her to the living room trying to let him sleep.

Ava is fussy this morning, beginning to whimper as soon as I got to set her down with her toys and only ceasing her cries when I pick her back up and give her her paci.

She rests her head on my shoulder and I rock her back and forth wishing she could just hurry up and feel better, but I know that's not how head injuries work.

I flip on the tv and select a sitcom I've seen at least a hundred times since Ava seems content to just be held and hold her blanket.

The doctor said to encourage her to sleep whenever possible and though she's just woken up her eyes drift back closed shortly.

I hold her for an hour, trying to soak up all of her sweet cuddles while she's still little enough to want to be held.

My head turns at the sound of footsteps on the hardwood floors of the hallway.

"Morning" I offer as Calum pads in and joins me on the couch. He raises his arms above his head, yawning, before his eyes settle on Ava.

"Geez, back asleep already?"

"She was super fussy, I don't know if she just woke up too early and wanted more sleep or if it's just her body trying to heal. I got up like an hour ago and she's been out pretty much since I brought her in here."

His eyebrows knit together and he brushes his hand over the top of her shoulder.

"Can I hold her?"

I nod and let him take her from me, she barely stirs as he settles her against his shoulder.

"How'd the release go?"

"Really well!" He grins. "The kids seem to like it. Do you wanna hear it?"

"Can we play this one in front of Aves? The last one was a bit dicey." I smirk and he rolls his eyes.

"As if we don't swear in front of her daily."

"We should probably start working on that, she's gonna start repeating us soon and I don't know that the general public would be as amused by our one year old cursing as I would."

"This is true."

"This one doesn't have cursing but it's not exactly.....just listen to it and tell me what you think." He pinches his bottom lip between his thumb and index finger his elbow perched on his knee as he studies me carefully while pressing play on his iPhone.

The track starts with gang vocals from all the boys and his face turns to a hint of a smile when he sees the impressed look on my face before the verse starts and Calum's voice alone rings through the speakers.

I try to keep a non-discernible look on my face until the songs fades out and Calum stares at me awaiting my critique.

"Well?"

"So you wrote that." I say, it's a statement not a question. The lines are too on the nose, too obvious at least to me.

"Parts of it." He says sheepishly.

I raise my eyebrows as I stare at him knowingly.

"I was drunk then, but not drunk enough to not remember telling you that you were the only who could get me off. That particular humiliating moment is burned permanently into my brain."