Not in the Same Way

Twenty Nine

"Aves, you've gotta be super careful around the pool, okay? And when Daddy says it's time to get out, you have to listen. No sass. I don't want you to get anymore ouchies"

I hear Calum say to her before setting the little girl down on the first step of the pool.

She's immediately a mess of giggles as she splashes happily in the shallow water, finally cleared for it again after her accident.

"God, I can't believe that her fall was only like a week and a half ago, I feel like the week has dragged by."

"Well it's just been one thing after another." He says, keeping his eyes trained on the toddler.

"You alright?" I ask, sensing a bit of unease that isn't typical from him.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry. It's just all the stuff from this morning-"

"Regretting asking me to be your girlfriend already?" I joke, trying to lighten up the mood.

"No, Darbs, never." He says defensively, shooting a panicked look in my direction. I laugh and reach out to brush my hand across his shoulder in a silent way of telling him I was only kidding.

"Ash called me this morning, he was just" he pauses for a moment, his eyes scanning the yard as he thinks, "expressing his concerns."

"Concerns about what?"

"Me, you, us." His voice grows quieter with each word before he shakes his head, pulling a weed from the concrete and tearing it into tiny pieces before flicking the remnants into the water.

"I'm sure he meant well."

He doesn't say anything, instead turning his attention to splashing Ava, who is content, happily kicking her feet in the crystal blue water.

"He upset you." I try again, hoping to open him up.

"Yeah, I mean, I don't know how else I'm supposed to feel when my own best friend thinks I'm a complete and utter fu-" He stops himself, his gaze dropping again to Ava. "He just thinks I'm going to hurt you again."

"Do you?" I ask, a bit bolder than I knew I was capable of at the moment.

"Do I what?"

"Think you'll hurt me again."

Calum's eyes find mine and his Adam's apple bobs in his throat as he swallows, the still silence lingering in the chasm between us.

"No." He says finally. "No, I don't worry that I will hurt you because I know how I feel about you and how important this is to me."

"But..." I say, sensing there is something he isn't saying.

"But, I worry that shit I can't control, like the fan stuff this morning, I worry it's gonna get to you and make you leave me and just...ruin everything."

"Really?" I ask, a bit dumb founded.

"Well, yeah. The stuff they've said, it's not exactly kind."

"In case you've forgotten, you yourself used to say all kinds of things to me that, 'weren't exactly kind.'"

He stares blankly at me and I feel the need to clarify.

"I'm not trying to start anything, Cal. I'm just saying I've dealt with a lot before. Some dumb rumors have no chance. I texted the girls and I'm gonna call them tonight, I promise this isn't going to be what breaks us."

He shifts over so that he is sat right beside me, the outsides of our thighs just close enough to touch.

"I think I'm just over thinking because it all still feels too good to be true. I still am incredibly shocked that you're even giving me this chance and I'm so scared that something is going to ruin it."