Not in the Same Way

Twenty Two

I've never seen Calum like this. He just looks so sad and dejected.

I stand with him for a moment before Ava crying distracts me and I leave him alone with his thoughts as I head in to see what's wrong with her.

"Can I?" He asks from just over my shoulder, though I hadn't heard his steps behind me.

I move to allow him to pick up Ava from the floor where she's crying.

"What's wrong bubs?" He asks her as he lifts her to his chest.

"I think her diaper needs changing." He mumbles. "I'll be back."

He heads down the hallway to Ava's room to get her changed and I watch him go wondering what, if anything, I could do to make this better for him.

"Mama" Ava says as they reappear reaching for me and he lets her move to my arms.

"I ordered takeout from that Thai place you like. They're still doing delivery."

He doesn't even show a hint of a smile at the mention of his favorite food so I know it's really bad.

"Cal..."

He shakes me off and falls onto the cushions of the couch, his arms crossed protectively over his chest.

"Come on, please don't be sad." I say, my hand reaching out to grip his forearm before I can stop myself.

His tense muscles relax slightly and he allows himself to lean into me, his head rested on my shoulder as he extends his arm and Ava fixates on his tattoos like she's been doing a lot lately.

"I'll get over it but it's just so disappointing. We worked so hard to make this album perfect. Now, it doesn't even stand a chance."

"That's not true, your fans are insanely supportive. You can't give up on it already, they're all anxiously waiting for you guys stream tonight and excited to hear the music you've all made. It's not all about the numbers, babe."

I freeze as the pet name rolls off the tip of my tongue without warning. I hope it's gone unnoticed but the smirk playing on Calum's lips says otherwise.

"You're right, you're right." He sighs, letting Ava crawl to his lap where she settles, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "It's just disappointing."

"I know and I'm sorry. Maybe they'll get it all worked out."

"Yeah...maybe."

Duke pads in from wherever he's been and jumps onto the couch, his head draped over Calum's leg as he plops down.

"Gang's all here." I say with a light laugh.

Cal doesn't laugh or do much of anything besides fixate his gaze on the television which is concerning, I hate seeing him like this.

"Aren't you supposed to have like a ton of video interviews and stuff today before the stream tonight?"

"Yeah, but like, what's the point now?"

"Calum."

"What?" He shoots back.

"You're being ridiculous. Yes, there was a mix up and it sucks but you have to be more positive. Where is happy go lucky, it is what it is, Cal?"