Not in the Same Way

Thirty Four

Something felt off as we made the drive home from Michael and Crystal's. Everything was fine last night. We had had fun, something I couldn't even remember the last time I had done. As he drove though Calum's hands gripped the wheel so tight that the knuckles of his hands were white and to say I was worried would be a huge understatement.

The silence lingered as we exited the car and continued even as we entered our house and settled in for our regular programming of trying not to go stir crazy in quarantine.

"Calum, I can't help but feel like something is wrong. Last night was so fun and perfect, what's changed this morning?"

"It's not--Nothing has changed this morning Darby. I'm just a bit concerned about the social media stuff. I was planning to talk to you about it last night but then we got caught up in everything and I didn't get the chance." He turns, his hands bracing him against the kitchen counter top as he looks out the window to the back yard.

"Why did you lie to me? Why didn't you tell me how bad it was?"

I purse my lips and try to think of the best way to explain.

"What would it have changed?" I ask. A question seeming to be the best answer I can muster.

"I don't know Darbs, something." He tries.

"It wouldn't though." I respond softly. "Yes, they were saying some pretty nasty things and yes it hurt my feelings but at the end of the day.." I shrug. " I know it's not true and so do you. We're finally happy, Cal. I don't want to give people we don't know, people who don't know us and everything we've been through that kind of power over us."

"Just promise me one thing." He pleads with me and I give a small nod.

"You've gotta be honest with me about this stuff. I need to know when you need me to step in and say something. I need you to help me establish boundaries between what is public and what is private. Whatever we do, from now on, I want to do it as a team. I want this Darby, I don't know how many times I can say that but I just need you to believe it and to believe in us. I know we can be great together but we have to be honest with each other."

My arms reach out for him, wrapping him in a hug as my chin settles on his shoulder. Wrapped in his arms, even amidst all the uncertainties of the outside world right now, I feel safe.

•

"What are you doing?" I laugh, my hand covering my mouth as Calum dances around in front of the green screen.

Ava plays near by on the ground as I try to film Calum's segments of this shot from home music video the boys are making.

It's a cool concept they've come up with and if they pull it off the video has the potential to be one of my very favorites they've ever done.

"I don't know! Andy said to sign to the camera and I feel all weird just being in my backyard and not on like a set, the whole this is just so weird."

"You need to loosen up." I tell him. "Try to have fun with it and not take it so seriously." I reach out and poke his visible nipple through his sheer shirt and he grabs for my hand.

"Stooooppp." He whines.

"Lighten up. It's supposed to be fun and lighthearted you know."

I start the music up again and Cal mouths along to the words looking to me expectantly when he finishes.

"Was that better?" He questions.

"You want my nice answer or my real answer?"

He groans and I set the camera down.

"Hold on, hold on. Don't go all grumpy yet. Come here Aves."

I bend down and help her to her feet and walk slowly back to Cal, taking my time so that her little legs can keep up.

"You want me to do the video with Aves?"

I shrug. "She loosens you up, one take can't hurt. Hopefully it'll get you out of you head and give us a better chance at getting this done."

As we near him Cal bends to pick Ava up, lifting her above his head and tossing her gently. He catches her easily and presses loud kisses to her cheek over and over as she giggles.

I start the song and he pulls silly faces and plays with Ava the whole time, an incredibly adorable display.

"Was that better?" He asks, looming to me expectantly.

"By leaps and bounds." I retort. "Now lets try it again for real."

•

"When does the chart come out again?" Michael asks through the computer screen, the other boys faces filling the blocks of the video chat we've joined to wait for the official chart numbers for our album.

"Any minute now really." Luke replies quickly.

Darby's fingers interlock with mine as she leans her head against my shoulder.

"It shouldn't even be close. The preview chart said it was too close to call, if you had the albums you should have counted it wouldn't even be close." Crystal says, her exasperation with the situation coming through and clearly resembling what we're all feeling.

"Nothing we can do about it now though. Our fans seem to like it, it definitely isn't tanking and we know what's happened. I've just decided to accept whatever happens and move forward. In the grand scheme of things it really is just numbers." Ashton says, ever the wise one.

"Whatever it is boys, I love you guys."

"Aw Cal, don't go all mushy on us. What have you done to him Darby?" Michael replies.

I feel the vibration against me as Darby laughs and ducks her head bashfully.

"Chart is out." Luke says softly drawing everyone's eyes. He sakes his head and looks down and I feel Darby's hand squeeze mine, we didn't get the number one.

I'm disappointed, but not as much as I expected to be, it's hard to be sad with Darby presses against me.

•
"So boys, we've been in quarantine for a hot minute now," the radio host starts. We're doing a whole slew on virtual interviews to try and promote the album. "What's the first thing you want to do when this all ends?"

"Eat sushi!" Michael says quickly, a wide grin over his face.

"Um, honestly just looking forward to being able to see everyone again."

"No one wants to see you Luke." Michael says quickly with a wicked grin.

"I just want to get back to being able to make music together."

"What about you Calum?"

"Um, first thing I want to do when all this ends is something I should have done a long time ago. That's all I better say right now."

I finish up the interview and say goodbye to the boys, returning to the living room and dropping beside Darby on the couch.

Ava toddles up and crawls into the space between us. As I sling my arm around the back of the couch and my two girls.

I'm grinning like a fool but I can't help it, Darby looks over to me with a confused look, I lean forward and press my lips to hers, for the first time in my life, even amidst the chaos, everything is exactly how it should be.

The End.

An: epilogue will be up tomorrow!

Make sure you save my new book Meet You There to your libraries it should begin updating on Tuesday!

Thanks for reading!
Ily,
Sav 🖤