ANDROGYNOUS [Violet Chachki]

A Burlesque Dream (Part One)

It was the night of her first show. It was at a tiny bar, not even a cabaret, and she had only gotten some really tiny brochures outside of it to promote her show. 

She had left her home when Pearl was out, and had gotten many encouraging messages from every girl in the gang. 

"yOU GO BITCH. break a leg. LITERALLY." said Katya.

"go Chachki! Im proud of you" Pearl has messaged.

"good luck :)" she had stared at Fame's text for a little bit longer.

She wasn't nervous, in facy she felt like she had been born for that since the moment she put the lipstick on at six. She had gotten some make-up and looked up tutorials on YouTube. She had spent her days watching those and practicing, but she still found that everything was a bit too messy, a bit too spotty, a bit too ugly. Perhaps she still had her insecurities. When she started applying her make-up she noticed that her hand was shaking a bit. But she couldn't be nervous or else she'd fuck everything up. But she couldn't fuck up the chance of her life. She got into her corset and the lack of air in her lung relaxed her in a twisted way.

"And now the new femme sensation in town, please welcome Violet Chachki!"

Violet walked onto the stage in her shiny new  boots and leather whip. The music was too loud and the lights were too flashy and for a second she thought she was going to faint. And then she felt like a powerful bitch. And then she felt dizzy again. And then it was her time to start the show and she didn't have the time to feel anything. 

It happened in a blur, much like Jinkx's and Max's performances. She actually fucked up quite a bit and was about to break down several time. A foot was misplace, she forgot the lyrics for a second, the whip was about to slide out of her hands. She was sure the audience had noticed it all and was chuckling and giggling. Probably Pearl was laughing too. And Fame.

When she finally walked off the stage she mainly felt relief, and a bit of disappointment. Strangely enough she had been able to forget her insecurities for a few moments when she was performing, but now they were all back. She found some flowers backstage with a card in them: "Pearl". She would lie if she said that she wasn't slightly disappointed.

When she stared into her reflection in the mirror with her messed up make-up and hair she let out a sigh. She had completely fucked up, but she couldn't wait to do it again.