SUNSHINE | changlix

four

"Your smile is so pretty Lixie!"

Felix nodded as he continued smiling at Seungmin and Jeongin, not even sure why he was smiling in the first place.

It was almost automatic for him to smile in public and his smile was something that people took notice of and some even adored. They loved his smile because it simply radiated warmth and love even though Felix didn't intend for it to. They took solace in the sound of his laughter, a sound so beautiful, it felt like angels themselves had begun singing to them and comforting them.

Everyone loved his smile and his laughter.

Everyone except himself.

He hated the way his eyes disappeared whenever he smiled. He hated the way his teeth show whenever he smiled. He hated the way his laugh sounded as though he was running out of breath, almost suffocating on nothing but air.

He hated it all.

And yet, everyone loved it and no one could see past the beautiful lies he had hidden in plain sight.

"Hyung! I want to be like you!" Jeongin said, tugging at his bag straps. "Wait, where's Jisung hyung?"

Felix knew why Jisung hadn't been in school for the past two days. He knew that the boy had been desperately trying to look for Minho and knew how restless he had become.

Jisung loved Minho with all his heart.

And sometimes, just sometimes, Felix so badly wanted someone to feel the same about him.

He wanted someone who would go to the ends of the earth for him. Someone who, without his prompting, would gladly sacrifice his time to be with him no matter what.

And, he couldn't help feel a tinge of jealousy because of the fact that someone like Lee Minho, who left without a trace, had someone like that - someone so willing to put everything at risk for him.

Seungmin waved his hands in front of Felix. "Earth to Felix? You there?"

"Yea, I'm here." With a smile plastered on his face again, he reassured the other two that Jisung was fine and was simply taking a well deserved break from school which both of them believed in.

Felixs' smile faltered slightly when a tall boy walked through the crowd of people, a dozen roses in one hand along with multiple love confessions spilling out of the other.

Felix saw Jeongin suddenly look down at his shoes and noticed how he had pulled on his backpack straps. "Hy-hyungs, I'm going to go to class first okay? See you later," he said, shuffling in the other direction away from Hyunjin.

Hyunjin took notice of this and muttered profanites under his breath before screaming his name only for the younger to walk even faster, almost running to his class.

When Hyunjin reached where Jeongin had once stood, he let out a sigh and stuffed all the confessions into the trashcan nearby.

"What did you do?" Seungmin asked only for Hyunjin to reply with nothing but silence which caused Seungmin to bite on his lip, momentarily having forgotten that Hyunjin only ever talked to them when it was about Jeongin.

Felix hated everything about the situation they were in with Hyunjin glaring angrily at the roses in his hand, Seungmin staring at his feet and with him, awkwardly placed in the middle of the two.

"Lixie? I-I'll head off first okay? I-I need to go to the toilet," Seungmin said, leaving Felix alone with Hyunjin who after a while, tossed the roses into the trash and left too, leaving him entirely alone.

He had about fifteen minutes of break time left so he made his way up to the roof and sat there, a sandwich in hand as he stared at the blue sky overhead and took in the warmth of the sun.

The sun was something often talked about so positively in every story he had read but in his head, what really was so great about the sun? It was glaring, harsh and always looking down from above so why did people love it so much?

He preferred the moon, calm and reserved and never asking to be noticed like how the rays of sun constantly shone into peoples' eyes.

He liked the moon. Everything about it was beautiful, serene and just picturesque.

He closed his eyes for a moment as he laid down, his back coming into contact with the almost burning bench but he didn't mind - he just wanted to rest.

His rest was short lived as he heard the door swinging open and heavy footsteps slamming against the ground.

"I've never seen you up here counsellor boy."

Felix immediately shot up, knowing exactly whose voice it was and when he did, he almost bashed his head against the other boys'.

"Were you that excited to see me?" Changbin asked, smiling to himself as he sat down on the floor next to the bench. "I can leave if you want since you know, got to keep the boundary."

"It's past work hours so is there really a need for a boundary hyung?"

"Drop the honorifics Lix. Makes me feel ancient," Changbin said with a shudder which made Felix chuckle as he crossed his legs on the bench, his half eaten sandwich sitting on his lap. "Hyunjin made quite a scene today didn't he?"

"You saw?"

Changbin rolled his eyes and let his head lull backwards to meet Felixs' eyes. "Anyone with eyes and ears noticed. Still can't believe Kim Seungmin dated him before."

"Are you...gossiping with me?"

"Well, what else would I do?" Changbin asked, his head resting on the seat as he shielded his eyes from the sun with his arm.

"I don't know? Maybe tell me trivial things like, what's your favourite colour or something like that or don't! I'm not forcing you to-"

"Black."

"What?"

Changbin removed his arm from his eyes and although the sun was sneering at him, he forced himself to meet eyes with Felix who wore a confused expression on his face.

"My favourite colour's black." He poked Felixs' cheek, the simple gesture causing butterflies to form in the pit of Felixs' stomach. "Why do you look so shocked? You asked that question."

"I just...didn't expect you to answer."

Silence loomed over them, both of them unsure of what to say next as they simply enjoyed the presence of the other.

Then the bell rang, disrupting the peaceful moment that they were having as both of them hastily stood up, Felix shoving the last bit of his sandwich into his mouth.

As they walked down the steps, Felix noticed a bruise on the back of Changbins' neck and he had to stop himself from asking what had happened, not wanting to scare the boy away.

When they had reached the first floor, students were clamouring to get to their classes but before Felix could do the same, Changbins' voice stopped him dead in his tracks. "I agree that your smile is pretty but one day, I really want to see it be genuine."

He walked off before Felix could, leaving him confused and upset because why did he always get to have the last word?

Felix huffed and ran up to him, catching his bag strap within his tiny hand. "What is it Lix?"

"Make me smile then." Changbin turned around, his eyes wide as he stared at the younger boy who had released his grip on his bag strap.

"Make me smile genuinely then Seo Changbin."

And with that, Felix ran to his class feeling accomplished as for once, he had managed to get the last word and leave the older boy stumped.

A grin spread across Changbins' face as he watched Felix run off to his class. He let out a sigh and ran his hands through his hair.

"Challenge accepted Lee Felix."