SUNSHINE | changlix

eleven

When Felix entered school that morning, after dropping his bag in his classroom, he immediately rushed to the washroom, not having been able to properly cover his bruises at home.

He took out the thin bottle of concealer he carried around and started applying it onto his skin, flinching at how cold his hands were but not stopping.

"What're you doing?" Felix jumped back in surprise, dropping the bottle into the sink as he stared at the mirror to see a familiar boy standing behind him.

"Wha-why're you here so early?" Felix asked, quickly taking the concealer and hiding it within his palm as he met Changbins' eyes through his reflection.

Changbin placed his head on Felixs' shoulder, reaching out for his hand and slowly opening his clenched fist to reveal the thin bottle of concealer.

"Who hurt you?" Changbin asked, opening the bottle and slowly applying the concealer for him, his other hand holding Felixs' as he flinched at the contact.

Felix stared at Changbin through the reflection of the mirror and he couldn't help but wonder why he didn't seem fazed at all and instead, immediately chose to help him hide the blue black stains on his skin.

When Changbin was done, he handed the bottle back to Felix and returned his head to the crook of his neck, lightly wrapping his arms around Felixs' waist. "Does it hurt if I hug you?"

Felix shook his head, his entire body tense because of the close contact but, swallowing his fears, he allowed Changbin to continue doing so, the older of the two seemingly gaining some sort of peace by doing so.

"Do you want to rest a while? I mean, we can go to the park nearby or just hang out by the field since it's still so early," Changbin asked.

"Why...why are you here?" Felix asked, trying to divert the topic away from him and onto something, someone, else, his entire mind shutting down whenever anyone so much as took an interest in his personal life.

Changbin smiled warmly at him as he let him go from the hug only to ever so gently hold his hand to slowly pull him out of the washrooms.

Felix didn't say a word, his heart still beating at a mile per minute as he watched Changbin lead him down the empty hallways, the only two students there seemingly being them and them alone.

And, after walking for a short while, they reached the school field that was still blanketed by shadows, the sun not quite out yet.

Slowly, Changbin put his bag down and sat under a tree dressed in orange leaves. He motioned for Felix to sit down next to him, patting the empty space and eventually, Felix obliged, sitting down exactly where Changbin wanted him to sit.

Changbin gave his lap a pat, tilting his head slightly downwards which caused Felix to stare at him in confusion.

A sigh escaped his lips but nevertheless, he smiled at the boy, a smile that he so rarely wore that Felix thought he was dreaming.

"The dark circles under your eyes are horrible so I'm lending you my lap as a pillow," Changbin stated as though it were the most obvious thing. "And, before you go all 'I'm your counselor! I'm supposed to counsel you!' or some shit like that, just remember that right now, you're just Felix — you don't have to uphold any role or reputation so, would you please just rest for a while?"

Felix continued staring at him, his mouth forming a small 'o' as he felt the corners of lips tilting upwards slightly and, for the first time in a while, he felt that he didn't have to force the smile that appeared on his face, his eyes forming crescent shaped moons as he tentatively put his head on Changbins' lap.

But, as he lay there under the dark blue sky with Changbin gently running his fingers through his hair, he couldn't help but hear the little voice in the back of his head saying that soon, he too would leave.

And, although he had been the one to give him his smile back, deep down, Felix knew that he would be the one to take it all away again.

ミ☆

"Seungmin, stop pacing. I'm sure he's fine," Jisung said as Felix entered the classroom, actually having had fallen asleep in Changbins' lap, the older of the two letting him do so until the first bell rang. "Hey Lix could you work your magic and calm Seungmin down a little?"

Felix looked at Seungmin and saw his puffy eyes and red nose, clear indications that he had been crying his eyes out. To top it all off, his hair was a mess and an exact replica of a poorly made bird's next atop his head. 

"What happened?" Felix asked, putting his bag down by the desk next to Jisungs' and returning to Seungmins' side.

"Jeon-jeongin is-isn't-"

Felix give him a reassuring smile, patting his bag and reminding him to breathe before he tried to speak again.

"Jeongin...He's not picking up my calls and I-"

The room fell dead silent, everyone shutting up the second he entered the class.

Hyunjin didn't bother to acknowledge their stares, immediately heading for the back of the room where his desk was, clicking his tongue when he saw threats and rude remarks scribbled on post-its that largely outnumbered the love letters he had gotten so accustomed to receiving.

He licked his lips and pushed everything off his desk, sending small pieces of paper flying as boxes came into contact with the floor.

"Why not just tell me how you all feel to my face instead of writing about it?" Hyunjin spat, looking around the room and scanning everyone's reactions. Although the vast majority refused to meet his eyes, a handful of people had the guts to do so, even daring to look at him smugly as though they had accomplished something great.

Before Hyunjin could say anymore, the teacher walked in, forcing Hyunjin to keep his thoughts to himself as he silently picked up any of the post-its near him and shoved them into his bag.

During the lesson, Felix kept stealing glances at Hyunjin, the latter frowning everytime he wrote something only to aggressively erase it. Felix then realised that he had stuck one particular post-it decorated with tiny drawings of bears on the very front of his notebook, securing it with endless amounts of clear tape.

And, he could've sworn that whenever Hyunjin read the note, a sad smile formed on his face before he would begin writing again, completely unaware of Felix's observations.