Coerced

Chapter 20

Mara's Pov

I reached the kitchen with many thoughts that occupied my mind. Shannon reaches me adorning a sunny smile brushing away the baby hairs on my forehead with the pads of his thumbs. His fingers then trail down pushing away the wild tresses to my back as he kisses my forehead. Luckily for me, his anger on me does not stay for long. Fondling my curls with his slender fingers he asks me. "Feeling hungry cupcakes?" His voice was dipped in gentleness assessing me closely.

I did not reply. However he arranges dinner plates for us on the dining table. We ate dinner in silence and I could notice his eyes all the time on me. After finishing my food I told him that I was feeling tired and was about to go to sleep. He stops me holding my upper arms. "Sit with me for some time. If you fall asleep I will take you to bed." 

Bringing me close to him he directs my head on his chest and his hand goes around my shoulder. He kisses my hair and whispers. "What is troubling you cupcakes? Are you still bothered about the fight we had a short while ago?"

I shake my head looking into his eyes. "I saw you smoking a while back. I cannot stand the smell of cigarettes, Shannon. It causes me breathlessness." He wraps his hands around me pulling me closer while rubbing my upper arms in comfort. "I had an idea about this since the beginning of our relationship. Don't worry. I will quit smoking. Give me some time to get over it."

I meet his eyes before ventilating my anxious thoughts. "Both of us belong to different classes of society, Shannon. Will we be able to overcome our financial barriers and lead a happy life? Fucking your ‘soon to be’ wife in a state of dopiness may not be a big deal for you because you are anyway going to marry her. But losing my virginity before marriage is the biggest sacrifice I made for you. I trusted you. Please don't ruin my confidence in you on any day.”

Shannon bends his head down to kiss my cheeks and entangles the fingers of our hand with his bringing me closer to him. "I did not rape any female. The terms were clearly stated in the contract that it is only going to be sex for a night with no strings attached. And they came willingly to me. However I am not proud of myself for what I did to them. If I could revert it, I would have done it long ago. Natheless of anything between us, I don't want you to call it a fuck for what happened between us. It is neither sex nor fuck. It is called ‘making love’.” He told me sternly, holding my gaze. "I am going to marry you within a short time and everything will automatically become justifiable, legitimate between us." He assures me tipping up my head by directing me to look into his promising eyes.

His eyes were very hypnotizing. I felt like I could look into his eyes and spend the rest of my life worry free. However my silence got him anxious.

Blowing the steam out of his lips his hand plays with my fingers while the other is still wrapped around my waist. "There is no marriage made between equals, cupcakes. We will always have our differences. For certain things I will change for you and for some others, you will change for me." He confirms and his rough hands cup my cheeks tilting my head. He pecks my lips and continues. "Marriage is an adjustment between two individuals done out of love to keep each other happy."

I move myself from beside him and sit in his lap. My legs go around his waist while his hands move to my hips to secure me in place. Rising up his knees he draws me on to his torso. I place my head on his chest feeling relaxed and start to speak.

"My parents brought me up principled and very sheltered. There were always some do's and don'ts imposed on me starting from the dresses I wear to the people I speak to outside my family.  Since the beginning I went only to girl's school and then girl's college. In case of school functions and birthday parties of friends, my dad used to drop me and pick me up from the venue. After sunset I wasn't supposed to leave the house and in case of an emergency like buying sanitary pads, my brother used to accompany me to all places I went out as per the instructions of my mom. I still do not understand the logic behind his escorting me when he is much younger.” I finished the sentence with an uncomfortable laughter.