I Met the Jerk

I'm Freaking Vulnerable

I updated the rest of this story as I didn't like where it was going....

       Jungkook's heart thudded against his chest as his legs gave out and he hit the floor on his hands and knees. She rejected him, just walked away as if he was nothing. He probably was nothing to her, but she was his world.

He wouldn't admit it until now, even to himself, but he couldn't convince himself otherwise with his heart torn out of his chest like this.

Why did he have to be like this? So afraid to be vulnerable and let anyone know how he feels? He hated that he was this way, but he could not physically make himself say what he needed to say.

He wiped his hair out of his face and picked himself up, he was too tired to handle anything right now and all he wanted to do was sleep, but his heartache wouldn't allow him to leave it this way.

Just as he took a step towards the door, Y/N came back in and glared at him.

Jungkook sighed hard and quietly walked up to her and before she could open her mouth to speak he placed his finger on her lips. "Shhhh....don't speak." He whispered. He anticipated rejection, but he was ready to get it off his chest. He would rip it off like a band aid and once she turned him down he would deal with his heart break and get over it. Or at least that was his plan.

"I love you, Y/N. I have no excuse for how I've treated you, but I do have my reasons. Dumb, personal reasons. But I don't care about them anymore, I care about you. I would like nothing more than to treat you like you deserve, will you give me the chance to be a good boyfriend to you?"

He looked away immediately, scared to death to see the answer in her eyes. It had taken everything he had to say those words and he now felt the contents of his stomach slowly making its way up his throat.

Y/N stared at him in shock as she struggled to find her own words. She had came back in to speak her mind, to tell him to grow up and stop acting so childish all the time because she loves him and wants a real relationship with him, but instead he confessed his feelings.

She couldn't be mad at him anymore and for some reason she felt bothered by this. Could it be that it was their "thing" to be mad at each other, always bickering like little kids? That he nor she actually loved the other, they were just in love with the idea of having someone around that irritates them enough to be fun but not enough to punch in the face?

She took a step back from him and he lowered his head, closing his eyes. He was waiting for her to say something but she just stood there. He cleared his throat  and opened his eyes, "So, I'm guessing that's a no?" He asked hoarsely.

"No...I mean yes....I mean it's not a no or a yes. I want to, but do you think it's right?" She sighed, "I mean, can you really do that? Are we really meant to have a real relationship or are we just a fling?"

He straightened his shoulders and looked her in the eyes. Was his pride really worth fighting for her still? He had come so far out of his comfort zone he was about to get sick, laid out his feelings for her, and she apparently thought that a real relationship still wasn't possible.

He put his hand on her shoulder, "I don't know what else to say, I love you. If you don't want to try, I can't force you. I just needed to tell you that."

He walked over to his bed and laid down, snuggling with a pillow.

She stood there watching him as he drifted to sleep. Still unable to make a decision she went into the kitchen with Jin, who was quite drunk at this point.

"Jungkook said that?" Jin looked at Y/N with his eyes wide and tilted his head. "Well, if he did, I believe him. He is a good boy, he has some trust issues, issues expressing himself, and a lot more. But I think he does have it in him to be a great boyfriend."

She played with her fingers nervously, leaning up against the doorway, "I think I might love him, possibly, but I don't know. I was going to tell him the same thing, but when he told me that, I just suddenly felt different, you know?"

"No, I don't. I purposely stay out of relationships because of this." He busted out laughing, "Or maybe because nobody will have me!"

"Oh Jin! You're something else when you drink."

"I know, right? I have an amazing personality drunk or not and cannot imagine anyone not wanting a piece of this." He giggled and gestures towards his body.

"True."

Jin looked down at the table and calmed himself. He was only kidding, but he remembered who he was kidding with, the very girl he shared a kiss with. A very passionate kiss with, that just happened to agree with him.

"I think I had better get myself upstairs and sleep my drunkenness off." He said as he stumbled out of the chair towards the doorway nearly falling. Y/N grabbed him by the waist to stop him from falling and he ended up entirely too close to her for comfort.

"I will walk with you, I don't want you hurting yourself." She put her arm around his waist and lead the way before he could protest. He was going to move himself away from her but nearly tripped over his own feet and quickly grabbed hold of her to steady himself.

He thought of the kiss again and became more uncomfortable with each step, feeling her grip on him tighten. He was afraid someone, especially Jungkook, would find them like this. He reached his door and turned towards her, "I think I can manage from here, the walk up the steps sobered me up a bit." It was true that he was a little more sober now, but it wasn't because of the walk, it was because of the feelings he was realizing he had for her.

"Okay, sleep tight Jin."

She walked to Jungkook's door, hesitating to go in and do what she was thinking to do. She sighed heavily and twisted the door knob, poking her head in.

He was still in the same position, with a pained look on his face as he slept. She laid down behind him and wrapped her arms around him, gently kissing his neck.

"Uh," he breathed as he slowly awakened. He realized she was with him and he turned towards her with a puzzled look on his face, brushing the hair out of eyes.

Before he could question her she whispered, "I love you, Jungkook. And I want you to love me, too."

He pulled her to him, his eyes moistened. "I do love you," he placed his forehead on hers, "I-I get hurt easily, I don't mean to be-"

"Shhh...I know. We're both a bit of a jerk sometimes, but we are better together than apart."

A small smile formed on his lips as he caressed her check with his thumb, "Can I just hold you tonight?"

Her eyebrows raised slightly, "I would love that."