Bite My Tongue (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction)

Go To Hell For Heaven's Sake

I thought that the last kiss that I had with Oliver was amazing but it was nothing compared to this one. Oliver never answered my question verbally, instead he quickly put his right hand on the back of my neck and pulled me close enough to kiss me. Then he took a mini step closer to me and put his left hand on my lower back bringing my hips to his. His thumb was on my cheek and he moved it slowly making me smile. His lips were soft and he wasn't too rough. It wasn't until he loosened his grip and ended the kiss that I realized I was holding my breath.

"I am so sorry." He breathed out. Even though he wasn't holding me tight anymore, he hadn't let me go.

"Why?" I asked. I knew he probably thought it was another mistake and it was another spur of the moment thing. To be fair I was the only girl on tour and even though he could have any girl he came across, I was always around; an easy target.

"Phil is going to kill me, and I don't want you to get in any trouble with him either. I can't do this, I'm sorry." He stuttered out quickly. 

It was like he couldn't get the words out fast enough and he actually seemed kind of nervous.It was kind of cute, honestly. He was cute.

I laughed and pulled a little away from him, but kept a hold on one of his hands, "Look, Oliver, Phil can pretend all he wants that I'm still thirteen and he can tell me what to do. But even then, there was no real way for him to control me. I'll do what I want regardless of what any one else says."

Oliver and I hadn't known each other for that long, so it was understandable that he didn't realize how little power Phil actually had over me. When it came to the band or the label, Phil was in complete control and I had to listen to him because beside being my older brother, he was also my boss. But when it came to my own life, I was a free spirit; there was nothing he could do.

"It feels wrong, I don't want to do this to you, I'm so sorry, Anne." he let go of my hand slowly and my heart dropped. 

I really believed he had feelings for me and maybe even wanted to be with me, but he didn't. Or if he did he didn't want it enough to go against my brother. Phil wasn't one to mix work with the rest of his life, he wasn't going to ruin Oliver's career just because he wanted to be with me.

"Then why do you keep kissing me, and making me think that there's something between us, when you really have no feelings for me at all?" I thought my voice would come out angry but it was more of a sad tone. Disappointed, rather.

"No, no, Anne you have it all wrong. I want you, so badly, but if this is going to be more than hooking up I want to be sure that I care about you. I don't want it to just be sex with you." So he wasn't sure about his feelings. I was getting frustrated with him and this whole situation.

"Coming from the rock star that has probably slept with hundreds of girls. Why does it matter if I'm just another girl tacked to that list?" I said sarcastically. 

I was kind of annoyed. I couldn't tell if he wanted to sleep with me, or be with me or just never have anything to do with me if it wasn't about Bring Me the Horizon. At this point I didn't care what he wanted I just wanted a solid, honest answer.

"You're different Anne. You're so different, from all of those girls." he seemed serious but it was nothing I hadn't heard before. There was no way for me to be sure that he wasn't just saying things to lead me on.

"Look, Oliver, I've heard all of this before. I might not be exactly average, but I'm not too different from any other girl you might find. So, don't bother with all the sweet talking. Just tell me what you want with me." I wanted this to be over. The kiss was amazing but this conversation was really killing the vibe that I had. I was done with this.

He looked at me with sad eyes. "No, Anne, I'm going to show you how different you are." He kissed my cheek and walked out of the room, and from the sound of the loud door, he must have gone outside. I just stood there for a minute, trying to process what exactly just happened.