Bite My Tongue (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction)

Is This What I Get?

The first thing that came to my mind when I woke up was that Oliver was leaving tomorrow. I had about 24 hours left with him and the guys which is why we were all going out to dinner tonight. This was to say goodbye, and then tomorrow morning I would take them to the airport and they would be gone. 

Oliver would be gone. 

I would be alone.

Since Oliver and I decided to break up when he left we made the most of what we still had. We almost never left each others side, always touching at the very least. Every night we slept together (in more ways than one). Which would explain why I wasn't wearing anything when I got up to get in the shower.

Oliver was still asleep when I got out, so I got dressed. We slept in pretty late so it was already three o'clock and we needed to be at dinner with the guys at five. Once I got on my jeans and long sleeved gray v neck shirt I walked over to Oliver and started to shake him. "Oliver, get up you have to get ready for dinner."

He woke up with a groan and into the pillow said, "What dinner?" 

I sighed at him. He knew exactly what I was talking about and even though I didn't want to deal with it anymore than he did I knew that we had to. Ignoring the problem wouldn't make it go away, no matter how bad I wanted it to.

"The dinner to say goodbye to you guys. You get to go home tomorrow." I said as I walked back to my mirror to brush my still damp hair. I could see the reflection of Oliver moving to get up but he was still moving as slow as he possibly could.

"You say that like I'm excited to leave." He said in a grumpy, almost angry, tone. 

He must have put his boxers back on in the middle of the night, but that was still all he was wearing. It made my breath catch in my throat and I wanted to throw him back into bed and never get up, but I knew I couldn't do that. We had places to be, and that would only make the goodbye harder.

"I don't think you're excited to leave, but you'll be happy to be home." 

I put my brush down and went into my drawer to dig out what kind of make up I wanted to wear tonight. I was trying to take my time getting ready since we still had about an hour and a half before we had to leave. I don't know why I started getting ready so early in the first place, it wasn't going to get this dinner over with anytime soon.

He sighed, not saying another word. He walked into the bathroom and I heard the water turn on. That was when I grabbed his suitcase off the floor and plopped it on the bed. I took everything that was messily thrown in out of the suitcase and folded all of it so that it would fit. I hated knowing that I wasn't just folding his clothes so that my room wasn't a mess, but it was also because he needed to have everything packed for his flight tomorrow. I left it open when I was done so he could decide what to wear tonight and then went back to doing my make up.

At four thirty I was ready to leave, just putting on my shoes and waiting for Oliver to come out of my room. Once he did, I grabbed my leather jacket and we walked out of the apartment and started walking towards the restaurant. It was about a twenty minute walk and even though it was freezing outside I didn't mind. This just gave me more time to be alone with Oliver.

We got to the restaurant and sat down with all the guys. Phil was there with them when we walked in. I sat between Kitty and Oliver. I stared at my hands a lot and had to catch up on conversations that I missed. 

I didn't really pay attention too much going on around me and no one else seemed to notice that I was acting strange. Part of me was upset about it but another part of me was glad that they weren't going to ask any questions. I didn't want to tell them what I was thinking about.

Tomorrow they wouldn't be here. Phil would, but he would be hours away and I would see him the next time I stopped by the studio to do work over there. But the guys, they would be in England this time tomorrow. Lee and Jordan and both Matt's would be home. They would spend time with their families that they probably miss terribly and they would go out with their friends that they hadn't seen in a while and they would be happy. And Oliver would be with them and pretty soon he wouldn't need me to be happy.

Once Oliver learned how to be happy on his own again he would forget about me. He would stop talking to me after a while. He would go out and party with all his friends and he might meet someone else. He might meet a pretty English girl that lived close to him and would follow him wherever he went. They might start dating and they might fall in love and then if I ever saw him again I would know that I lost him.

If Oliver was out of my life, then the rest of them would probably follow. I had a good relationship with all of them but after Oliver and I break up it would be awkward talking to them. I could talk to them about music and touring but how long would that really go on? A week or so maybe but then we would run out of things to talk about and my ties with Bring Me the Horizon would be severed.

"Anne? Are you okay?" I heard Kitty whisper beside me. I looked over at him and felt the tiniest tear roll down my cheek. I definitely wasn't okay.

"Yeah, just sad to see you guys leave." I whispered back.

The rest of the dinner was just planning to see each other again. Everyone seemed really hopeful that we would all stay in touch and stay great friends but I was being realistic. There was nothing that any of us could do to stay best friends. 

I don't care about Skype or long distance calls or even a plane ticket. We became best friends because we were with each other everyday and talked constantly. When that changed to just catching up once a week our friendship wouldn't be the friendship that I loved, it would be like having distant relatives.

I stayed silent through most of the dinner anyway, not wanting to cry when they talked about leaving. It was strange how badly this was affecting me since I wasn't really an emotional person. I guess that just proved how important these guys were to me. How important Oliver was to me.

I was going to miss them like hell. I would wake up tomorrow and see them off at the airport and then I would go home and I would be all alone.