Worth It

Chapter 11: Secrets

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ Attempted rape and triggering content ahead, please read with caution and always know I'm here. One of the main reasons I wrote this was to write about my traumas. Chloe, the main character, is based off of me and everything thats happened to me. I'm here.

The next morning, we had gotten Daryl into our tent. He stayed there most of the day, bored out of his mind. He kept putting holes in the side mesh with his arrow and it was annoying me

"Can you cut it out?" I ask him, looking up from the pages.

He was resting beside me on his pillow and he looked at me. "I'm bored." I roll my eyes and continue reading the book that was in my hand.

I had gotten it from Hershal. Talked about medicine and stuff like that. I thought it would be good to know. I turn when I hear someone enter the tent. It was Andrea.

"Hey." She says to the both of us, handing Daryl a book.. "This is not that great, but..." she trails off. He takes it from her and skims through the pages. "What, no pictures?" I snort and shake my head.

"I'll leave you two to talk." I tell them before standing up and taking my book with me. Butter jumps up and follows behind me. He looked at me pleadingly not to leave.

I winked at Daryl as I left. It was cute when he didn't want me to leave him.

I walked over to the stairs of the house and sat down, picking up in my book where I left off, Butter laying down at my feet. I only got past a few pages before someone sat down next to me. I look up.

"Hey Shane. What's up?" I shut the book and placed it on my lap.

"Saw you sitting here alone. Decided to come and see what's up." He tells me. "It's Daryl." I say to him.

He looks confused for a second. "He isn't hitting you... is he?" He asks me, remembering one of my past boyfriends. I shake my head vigorously. "God no. I just.... I feel like he would be better off if we didn't get too attached. I'm not the best at relationships. Maybe I should distance myself and make it easier for the both of us when..." I trail off.

He thinks about what I've said for a moment. "I guess I can understand where you're coming from. But we only got so much time left, why not spend it with someone you care about and be happy?"

"It just causes more pain in the end." I tell him, looking down at my lap. "I'm going to go on a walk." I say to him before he can respond. I stand up and walk away towards the edge of the farm. Butter trails aimlessly behind me.

"Should I just start keeping watch at night?" I mumble to myself. "That way I could avoid Daryl and still make sure Sam and James were safe."

I look down beside me. "What should I do bud?" I ask him. After walking for a while, I came across a pond with a big tree that had fallen over it. I smile and climb along the tree and sit in the middle, feet dangling over the edge.

The tree was big enough for Butter to climb across as well. I sat there for a while, reading my book, enjoying the silence.

After a while, I looked up at the sun. Daryl had taught me how to tell time by watching the sun. It had been a few hours so I decided to get up and head back to the farm

When I had finally made it back, Shane and Andrea were just arriving back. I stood with Dale and Carol as they drove up.

I put my arm across Carol's shoulder as they emerged from the car. "Anything?" She asks them. "Not today." Shane tells her. Andrea has hickies on her neck, and I shake my head.

"I'm so sorry." Andrea adds. "We'll cover more ground tomorrow." She whimpers and I lead her away. "It's ok." I mumble.

She finally gets ahold of herself and looks over at me. "You should eat something and get some rest." She tells me, switching to mom mode. I grimace. "I'm keeping watch tonight. I'll eat later anyway. Besides the sun's starting to go down, I have a few chores I need to do."

She glares at me. "I'll make you something to eat." She tells me before walking away.

I sigh and look down Butter. "You need to eat something too don't you bud?" I kneel and scratch his ears. "You should probably keep Daryl company while I keep watch tonight huh?" I lead him over to the tent and check if Daryl is sleeping.

He's snoring lightly and I smile. Butter wanders in and curls up next to him.

I quietly grab both knives, my crossbow, and my gun from my bag and head outside the tent again, zippering it up. By now the sun was starting to set and Carol finally emerged from the house, handing me a plate of food.

"You better eat this." She tells me before walking off to get some sleep. I stare at the plate for a moment before sitting on the step and eating it slowly. I finish about half of it before bringing it to the tent for Butter to eat.

I leave again and head back to the stairs.

"Shane?" I find him sitting on the stairs with a bottle of who knows what in his hand. "Whatcha got there?" I ask him.

"Drink I brought from the CDC." He tells me as he takes another swig. I nod and sit beside him, crossbow placed beside me.

"Did ya talk to Daryl yet?" He asks me. I can smell the alcohol on his breath. I shook my head.

"Dale is on look out right now, we can go n' talk if you want?" He says to me as he stands up. He grabs my wrist and leads me over to his tent before I can even grab my bow.

"Shane, wait." I try to stop him. "Shane!"

He doesn't listen and continues to drag me to his tent. I should be able to pull away but I'm scared. He might just want to talk though... I try to reason with myself. But in the pit of my stomach I know that's not it. But I knew Shane, there was nothing to be afraid of, right?

He leads me into his tent and sits me down beside him, rather abruptly. "Shane, I wanted to keep watch-" I start but he covers my mouth, pushing me down.

He crawls on top of me. The alcohol on his breath was strong. This isn't Shane, I tell myself over and over. I can get out of this.

"Shane get off." I try to tell him but he ignores me. "Get off!" I try to yell but it's muffled by his hand. His hand trails to the bottom of my shirt. "Lori stop resisting me. We love each other." He mumbles.

My eyes widen. He thinks I'm Lori.

He pulls my shirt up, exposing my bra. His hands fumble around my cargo pants and I try to get out of his grasp. I'm shaking.

"No! Stop!" I try to yell, but it's no use, his hand is covering my mouth and he used my shirt to keep my hands together.

Tears started to leak from my eyes when I heard the snap of my pants come undone. He reaches his hand into my underwear and suddenly his fingers are inside of me. A fire lights itself in my belly. So I raise my knee, kneeing him in the dick. He groaned and falls over and I stand up.

I pant heavily and he glares at me. I try to leave quickly, but he grabs my ankle and I fall, hitting my face against something that most likely cut it.

"Cut it out!" I hiss. "What the hell?"? Daryl asks, standing outside our tent. I look up at him with wide eyes. "We were having a fight and I kneed him in the dick." I tell him quickly and nervously. I didn't want to get Shane in trouble.

I feel Shane release my ankle with a scoff. I try to get up, groaning. But Daryl helps and picks me up swiftly.

I squeeze my eyes shut as Daryl carries me back to the tent. He sets me down and covers me, holding me close to him. I wish it was true. That it was just a fight.

I squeeze my legs together.

"Are you ok?" He whispers. I nod my head. This has happened before. But last time the guy didn't get too far.

"I'm fine." I get out coarsely. It was scary, but I was used to guys grabbing me. Thankfully, I was always able to fight them off.

I don't understand why it took so long when Shane tried. Daryl hugs me closer and soon I hear his soft snores. But unfortunately, I didn't sleep at all.