Very late on the entries but I finally managed to start doing this despite my own idiocy. God knows how it'll go. I'm praying it serves as a coping thing for us instead of being some sort of killer. Anyways, things have been very iffy since that day. I've been losing weight for our future plans, but things have gone very bad for the person I wronged you with. She's admitted I'm part of why she's very determined in her plans to eventually end herself. I just shouldn't have messed with her emotions and even more importantly I shouldn't have messed with yours and gone against your trust. But I'm honestly done talking about her. I can only hope and pray for her and live my with the pain of my bad decisions. She's honestly been a wake up call for me to finally stop focusing on myself all the time. I've realized I need to put my beliefs, you, others, and my passions before myself. I don't know how well I'm gonna ever be able to improve, nor wether it'll even be good enough, but I literally have to at least try. Speaking of you, literally everyday has involved me trying to control the habit of getting online and going straight to you. Reading the stuff you've been bleeding about recently ever since we had to stop talking has literally managed to take my breath away and I'm almost dying without you. Maybe we can use this place to talk again eventually, but I literally just can't right now. If this sounds like too long then maybe I can work around some things, but I have to wait until the first week of June. Checking up in two month increments might actually work out. Again if it seems too long then I can try to work around things. We also have this writing way to convey our feelings without actually talking. It's just the only thing I can do right now. Once I'm 18 things'll ramp up and I can actually do what I want. It'll hopefully be at least a little easier to talk by then. I'm still thinking about you everyday. You've actually been kind of an inspiration for me in a way recently...even more than you usually are...I just miss you, Juliet. I miss you so much. I love you so much....Here's to tomorrow....
Bonus thoughts: I read the message you sent on the 6th, and I might have hope after all.
YOU ARE READING
Born Into A Coffin
Non-FictionA prisoner details his experiences in jail while he waits to be put on death row or get bailed out.
