Born Into A Coffin

Day 120

Crickets are different. This is a sweet little gecko guy and he's cute. I hope he has a good life honestly. I honestly regret making fun of that cricket now because he was super nice, but he's still just an insect to me, and I don't like bugs. Having that surprise gecko was still nice. It was cool that you at least said that little thing when you did I guess. I honestly just needed to vomit when it comes to my mind and stuff. But I'm honestly just not up for it. I understand that we have the stories and streaming and stuff now, but we can't even keep a regular, detailed conversation over there because I still have to be cautious. I have so much I wanna say, if I can even manage the courage or will to say it, and I can only go into details here. When I was still writing my word vomit and mental release thing yesterday, I even contemplated writing it in the first place 'cause I wasn't sure if you were gonna read it or not anyway. I shouldn't have been trying to do it under the stressful conditions I was under anyway because we were tryna get ready for me to go out, and my dad was getting stuff ready for my party. I'm basically just saying, I at least like writing on here just as much so we can actually put more detail into our words and not be anxious about wether I'll be caught or not. I'm glad we can talk with the stories, and we'll get to just dms eventually (6 weeks!) but we need to still ease into it...I'm still so grateful for that moment we had a week or so ago...I need to hold on to you...I need to be with you...I need to hear your voice and talk with you...even if you don't read this...I love you...