Clean Slate ~ larry mpreg au

52) SACRIFICES

It was 2 in the morning and Louis was studying, and he wanted to die, because he still had a lot more to study, so he knew already that he wasn't going to get any sleep that night.

He had never in his life been so stressed, and often he wondered if it was all worth it, and he tried to convince himself that it was.

Because being a doctor one day was not only his dream, but it also meant that one day he was going to be able to provide for Tori like she deserved.

But even though Uni was hard, he was sure that if he only had to focus on studying, he would be totally fine, but he also needed to be a mum to Tori, and not just a mum, a good mum, and that meant spending time with her, time he could spend studying, or actually sleeping.

And to top it all, he also had to worry about his husband, because even though for the past weeks Harry had been saying he was fine every time they talked on the phone or saw each other, Louis knew he wasn't, and what was worse, he didn't know how to help Harry.

By now, he knew for sure that stress about Uni wasn't the only thing that was in Harry's mind, and that what was really wrong with him was his PTSD from whatever it was that happened to him in Guatemala.

Not that Harry had told him that, Louis had figured it out on his own.

At first he had been confused, as to why it was happening now, because Harry had been fine a few weeks after being back, or at least he seemed to be. But he had done some research, and he found out that any form of stress could trigger PTSD, so to him it was clear that that was what had happened; stress from Uni had triggered the PTSD on Harry.

But Harry refused to admit it, and every time Louis brought it up or tried to talk to him about it, Harry changed the subject, or brushed it off, saying he was fine.

And so, Louis was a wreck of stress, and he was sure he was one step away from being committed to a mental health hospital.

He had no idea when it happened, but it seemed he fell asleep while studying, because when the alarm on his phone went off, he was startled, and his neck was stiff.

"Kill me now" Louis groaned as he rubbed his neck.

He yawned, got up, and stretched for a few seconds before going to the bathroom, knowing that he would only wake up properly if he took a shower.

But he was so tired, that when he came out of the shower, he was still yawning, and while he got dressed he kept going over in his head everything he needed to know for the test he had later.

When he was ready, he went to Tori's room, because he was in charge of getting her ready for preschool every morning, and because today was Thursday, his first class of the day started later than other days, he also had to take her there.

Tori has different days, ones where it extremely difficult to get her up, and others where it was pretty easy, and today, thankfully was one of the easy days, so he got her up, got her dressed, did her hair, and then took her downstairs to have breakfast.

"Lou, you look tired, love" Jay commented as Louis poured coffee in a mug "Did you sleep at all?".

"I fell asleep on my desk, does that count?" Louis asked and took a big gulp from his coffee, he really needed it.

"Honey, you need to start sleeping more" Jay told him, and seemed worried.

"I'm fine, mum" Louis replied, and yawned.

"Lou, I'm leaving" Mark announced getting up from the table, and took one last sip from his coffee "Are you coming with me?".

"No, it's Thursday, remember? I take Tori to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays" Louis reminded his dad.