Divergent ~ zombie apocalypse

Chapter 33

Tobias's POV

We're where we first started.

The first version of me that she saw.

I was a rock, I've always been.

But she helped me, revealed me.

I wish I would've thanked her.

I really wish I could now.

Shauna grabs a knife and starts to cut on her arm.

I watch her.

It doesn't even sicken me.

I just stare at the writing.

Al ,
her hand is steady with the knife.
Will ,
each letter is perfect.
Marlene ,
blood is all over her hand.
Lynn ,
she never flinches.
Uriah ,
her. her name. she's next.
Tris.

All the deaths.

All the survivors.

All the souls.

Zeke takes the knife from her.

She screams.

"Shauna," he examines the bloody knife.

She gets up and kicks him and screams and takes the knife from him.

He takes it and throws it across the woods.

"YOU LITTLE." She has a dangerous look in her eye.

He picks her up and she kicks and punches and screams.

He takes her into the camper.

Zeke's POV

"HEY, HEY HEY." She throws sloppy, hard punches at me.

I set her down and she squirms.

"It's okay, alright calm down, look at your arm, have you gone mad."

She punches me hard in the chin.

Blood trickles, she tore the skin.

I pull her up and hold her in a hug.

She tries to get away.

I grip her harder, "it's Zeke it's Zeke calm down."

She slowly stops hesitating and embraces me.

Tobais's POV

I pick up her notebook.

I read through all the pages.

All the deaths in order.

I feel my face hot and flip to the next page.

*

5 deceased, 4 members left. I died strong. Excuse me, Tris died strong. Her eyes left her head and are now searching new territory, like they did here on earth. The whole world will miss her. Me most of all. Everyone has a choice in this world, this world being the zombie apocalypse, they can choose to be weak or they can choose to be strong. And strong is not the word. It's more like being strong when you need to and weak when you can, when you allow all your regrets, all your sorrows to cave in and conquer you. Tris died that way, she was that way, She was strong. Is strong, I suppose, she'll be strong no matter where she is. I do not know if I should want to find out wherever she went, or should I say if I want to join where she is. All I know is that I crave for her presence.

I lean back and see Christina sitting next to me.

"I'm all right," I say. "It's hard. It always will be."

"I know," she says.

She looks in my eyes. She nods, tears gliding down her face.

"Yeah, sometimes life really sucks," she says in a somewhat steady voice. "But you know what I'm holding on for?"

I shake my head.

"The moments that don't suck."

"Well we don't have a lot of those."

She raises her finger, "that's where you're wrong. See, the trick is to notice them when they come around."

The people who have grieve in them, the people that go through all types of shit, are who the ones who get life. They are who they are in front of people they love.

And I love these people.

And these people, without the mess, would be exactly what they look like, smartass, coward, jock, princess, joker, nerd, energetic, rocker, and that leaves me, depressed.

But out of all the labels a person could have, we are not just one thing, one word.

We can't be just one thing.

And the glue that holds up each other, is discovering who we are and then discovering the people around us.