Destiny Destroyed

Chapter 20 (1981/1982)

Christmas break is just what I needed. Two weeks without Seth. He called to wish me a Merry Christmas on Christmas morning. He knew we were leaving for my grandmas after gifts and breakfast. My parents let him come by the night before for a little bit so we could exchange gifts. I got Seth a leather belt he had mentioned wanting a few times. He got me a charm for my bracelet. A heart. I smiled and thanked him with a kiss. To thank me he tried to shove his tongue down my throat. I gave in and let him. Some things weren't worth getting into a fight over. We were sitting on my bed. The door was open per the rules of the house. Seth's hand trailed up the back of my shirt. He slowly made his way around to my breast. He gently gave it a squeeze. I pulled away and quickly stood up.

Seth pulled me back down. "Don't be such a prude Destiny. It's not a big deal." I pushed at him and managed to sit up. "My parents are home. Faith could walk in at any second. I'm not a prude Seth. If you want my dad to catch you with your hands up my top, then grope away," I tell him shoving my chest forward. He looks as though he's considering it when Faith pops her head in. "We're watching a movie in ten. Mom wants to know if Seth is staying. I look at him. He looks at his watch and shakes his head no. "My brother is stopping to get me, so I actually got to run," says. Relief washes over me. I want him gone. I don't know how much more I can take of Seth.

My aunt, uncle and cousins are already at my grandmas. They live out in California, so we usually only see all of them at Christmas. Tony and Chelsea, my cousins, come out and stay with grandma for a couple weeks in the summer. Tony is a year older than me and Chelsea is two years younger. We always have fun when they come. This year they are staying for four days. During that time, Faith and I stay also. We just finished building a snow fort when Tony smacked me in the head with a snowball. "It's on cuz," I yell as I duck behind the fort and quickly make a few snowballs. Faith and Chelsea duck into the fort to avoid the fight that is coming. I peak around the fort and locate Tony. He's making more snowballs. I grab one and wail it at him. It hits him in the back of the head. He turns and whips one back at me. I duck in time and it misses. We spend the next twenty minutes trying to kill each other with snowballs.

I lose sight of Tony and hurry to make more snowballs. I don't even see him coming. He tackles me to the ground and my face ends up in the snow. I roll over and he shoves more snow in my face. I'm laughing so hard. I watch as Faith and Chelsea come out of nowhere and push him off me. The three of us pin him to the ground and bury him in snow. After Tony cries uncle we let him up. We make snow angels and then head inside because we're all cold. Grandma makes us hot chocolate and we all huddle under blankets while watching raiders of the lost ark. Later my aunt and uncle left for a date night. Our grandma lets us stay up watching horror movies. We start with dawn of the dead and move on to Carrie. We end with black Christmas. It's a good thing we were all sharing a room. Faith was terrified after watching the movies. I think Chelsea was also but wouldn't admit it. Tony had fun trying to scare them until we all fell asleep.

JANUARY 1982

The first day back to school after the New Year is a Monday. I hide out in the art room alone. Seth was not happy to hear I was going to be spending my other three days in the art room. It wasn't like we could do much in free period anyway. Most of the time we would pass notes back and forth. His notes were always things like how much do you love me? Did you miss me since you last saw me? It was becoming more and more annoying each day. His insecurities grating on my nerves. But then I would feel guilty. He had a reason to be insecure. I was falling for Lucas. Could he tell. Did he notice I was pulling away from him?

I spend my free period just thinking about my situation. When the bell rings I have come to a decision. I plan to break up with Seth. When I reach my locker, Seth is waiting. I can't tell what kind of mood he is in. He's just watching me approach. No smile. No frown. "Hey," I say when I reach him. He doesn't say anything. I find the books I need and close the locker. "Did you miss me," he asks. He sounds almost sad. "Seth please. Can I just go to class," I ask him? I'm not in the mood to give a make Seth feel better speech. He frowns at me. "Sure thing. Go," he says angrily. I look at him leaning against the locker next to mine. It's obvious he isn't walking with me. Whatever I think to myself. I turn and walk away

Seth isn't at the lunch table when I arrive. I actually breathe a sigh of relief. I hadn't seen him since the locker incident earlier. When he's mad at me, he never walks me to class. It's my punishment for pissing him off. My eyes travel over to where Lucas is sitting. I hadn't seen him since before Christmas break. The day we almost kissed. He's sitting next to Timmy listening to something he is saying. He suddenly turns my way. Our eyes meet. He gives me a smile. My heart skips a beat. I smile back. Butterflies attack my stomach from just a look. What I want is clear to me. I want Lucas.

A bump into my shoulder pulls me back to my table. Seth gave me the bump as he sat down next to me. What a jerk. I look over at him and he ignores me. I feel a kick under the table and look up to see Gabby staring at me. She mouths a what's up. I shrug. I sit and eat my lunch in silence. I glance up and over to Lucas's table a couple times. He isn't looking my way anymore. The bells ring and lunch is over. I stand and go to grab my tray. "I got it," Seth says reaching over to take it. It's the first thing he has said to me since earlier. "Thanks," I say as I watch him go dump our trays.

He comes back and takes my hand. He pulls me into a deserted spot in the cafeteria. "We need to talk," he says. The cafeteria is nearly empty now. "We're going to be late," I say. "What's going on with you," he asks. I didn't want to do this here at school, but I figure now is as good of time as any. "I need a break Seth," I blurt out. He looks at me stunned. "What." I look at the floor. "I need a break." He grabs my chin and lifts my face to his. "A break from what," he asks. He is truly clueless. "From us," I whisper. His face falls. "I'm sorry about earlier. I know I was a jerk," he tells me. "It's about more than earlier Seth." I watch the panic cross his face.

He steps closer to me. I shrink back. His eyes widen. "Destiny please. Give me another chance. I am so sorry. I love you," he says pulling me into a hug. I stand with my hands to my side as he holds me tight to him. When he pulls away, I look up at him. His lips crash down on mine. Afraid to push him away. I wait for him to finish the unwanted kiss. "See how good we are together babe," he tells me. I shake my head no. "I need some space." He takes my hand. "Space for what. Is there someone else," he asks pulling my hand to his lips. His softly kisses the back of my hand. "No one will ever love you like I do Destiny. I love you more than life itself. Please don't tell me it's someone else." I watch as tears fall from his eyes.

I was not expecting this. I can feel myself caving. "There's no one else. I just need some time alone that's all." He drops my hand and wipes his face. He glances around to be sure no one is listening. "So, there isn't anyone else. If I give you space, you promise you will let me win you back. I will be the best boyfriend ever Destiny. Just give me another chance." This is harder than I thought. I think of Lucas and force myself to say "Just give me some time Seth. Please." He nods alright. I walk away and leave him standing alone in the corner of the cafeteria. I hurry to the bathroom and throw up my lunch. I stop by the office to get a late slip. At least I didn't have to lie about why I am late. Seth avoids me the rest of the day. He doesn't call me either.