They Never Said It Would Be Easy

February 2014

Once February came around I felt like I finally got back into the rhythm of things. I've been doing well in my classes so far and I felt like I was back in shape for swim. Each day since the athletic party Colin has slowly been leaving my mind as a possible love interest. My friend liked him and I  had to respect that. I will never get that chance and that is okay. Once I leave for a new school, I will have new opportunities to find that guy that I am compatible with and who really wants to be with me. But sometimes I can't help but think that if I just told Casey about my crush first, or if I spotted him at that party before she did, that I would be the one with the opportunity to get to know him better. It would be me that he would get the chance to know and maybe he would want to pursue things with me. But I can't think like that. It will only make things harder for me. I am going to be the supportive friend that Casey needs right now and help her win Colin over.

One day after swim practice, me, Casey, and two of our other close friends on the team, Natalie and Aria, were talking about swim and some of the guys on the team.

"Alright guys, I need to talk to you guys about something serious," Casey began.

"What's up?" asked Aria.

"Is this about you know who?" asked Natalie.

"I just wanna get straight to the point. Yeah it's about Colin and I'm confused." said Casey. "So we have history class together and now we are on the same swim team. We have been talking a lot in class and we talk when the swim team is hanging out together, but we don't communicate a ton over text or one on one. What do you guys think is going on?"

"Honestly, I don't know Colin very well at all. He seems like he is a bit on the shy side, but you know, there's always one way to find out," said Aria.

"And what's that?" Casey asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Aria continued. "You need to throw a party! Your parents always leave so your house will be open. We all know that alcohol is a truth serum so we can invite the whole team over, have a few drinks, play a few games, and see what's really going on."

"But at the athletic party he didn't try to make any moves," said Casey, seeming a bit disheartened.

"Not every guy is a total pig, Casey. This is a good thing. It shows that he is a good guy and does not just want to get in your pants. Plus, by having an only swim team party, he would feel more comfortable. Over the past month he has gotten to know some of the people on the team and there is a better chance of him putting himself out there," Natalie explained.

"You guys are so right! Clear your schedules for this Friday. I am going to throw the best party of our lives. I'll send a mass group text to the team to make sure everyone can come. Throughout the week we can plan the food and games and make sure this is a night we will never forget," said Casey.

"Or better yet, never remember," Natalie said mischievously.

I didn't contribute much to the conversation. I nodded my head and agreed to everything they were saying, but it hurt to know that after this weekend Casey and Colin would probably be the new happy couple. On the outside I am supportive and on the inside I am trying so hard, but it would just take a little more time. The hardest part is that I couldn't even talk to my best friend about it.

The week went by so slow. I had a ton of homework, the practices were brutal, and every conversation with the girls was about what Colin and Casey would be doing at the party this weekend. I felt a pang of jealousy imagining anything happening in my mind between the two of them, but I've made it my goal to push my feelings aside and make sure that Casey is happy, even if it is at my own expense.