They Never Said It Would Be Easy

April 2014

It has been a week since the camping trip and I was still so confused and so unsure of my next move. All I have wanted since January was for Colin to like me and it seemed like it was finally happening. But why did it have to happen like this? Why did I have to hurt my best friend in the process? Like I have always said, relationships have never worked out for me in the past, so is it worth it for me to spend time with Colin, behind my best friend's back, if there's a good chance that it won't work out. Do I let Colin go to spare Casey's feelings and save our friendship? Or do I talk to Casey and try to see if something can work with Colin? I have been so worried about the whole situation that I haven't even told my best friend that I got into my dream school. I didn't tell Casey, but I did message Colin about it.

Me: Hey Colin! Guess what?

Colin: Hmm, you listened to the new Strokes album?

Me: Well of course, but it's something else.

Colin: Well what is it?!

Me: I got into UCLA!

Colin: Congrats Gigi! This calls for a celebration. Maybe I can take you out this weekend?

This is what I have been dreaming about since I saw him on the track on the first day of the semester. I want to go so badly, but I know I need to talk to Casey first.

Me: That would be great(:

Colin: Then it's a date. I'll pick you up Saturday at 7.

Maybe I shoudn't have said yes right away. Maybe I should have talked to Casey before giving him an answer, but this was what I really wanted. I finally liked a guy that might actually like me back. And if Casey cared about my feelings, she would be okay with it. I decided that the sooner I talked to Casey, the easier things would be, so I messaged her right away.

Me: Hey Casey, wanna come over for a bit?

Casey: Of course, I'll be right there.

As Casey was on her way to my house, I was getting really nervous. I was trying to think of what I was going to say to her and the best way to tell her everything that was going on without it looking like I was stabbing her in the back. The worst part was knowing that it was sort of true. I did go behind her back, but I never intended for any of this to happen. If she was happy with Brett, why couldn't I be happy with Colin?

I heard the doorbell ring and knew that I had to talk to her now. As I walked down the stairs to open the door, my heart started beating ridiculously fast. My palms started sweating and my hands were shaking as I reached for the door knob. 

"Hey Gigi, what's going on?" Casey asked as I opened the door.

"I have some exciting news. I got into UCLA!" I exclaimed.

"That's incredible Gigi! I'm so happy for you!" Casey said as I motioned for her to come inside and lead us to take a seat on the couch.

"Thanks Casey! Colin said that we should celebrate this weekend," I said, starting to feel nervous.

"Well he's right we should! What are we all doing?" Casey asked.

"The thing is, he sort of asked me to go out and celebrate, with just him. Saturday night," I explained. My stomach started to drop.

"Like a date?" Casey questioned, her face turning tense.

"I guess so," I said, already knowing that this was not going to end well.

"Are you serious? I specifically told you that I wouldn't like it if anyone tried anything with Colin. How could you do this to me?" Casey said, clearly upset.