Soda Pop

Chapter 16- The Break Up

Today is Thursday. The day I meet Brett at Wing Dings.

I am seriously considering not going, but let's face reality. I am two years behind on my schooling and need some serious tutoring. Especially if I want to get into college. I need to prove myself. Not just to the colleges and to my parents, but to myself.

Lately I have been feeling really insecure. I would love to be smart again. Not just to benefit my self esteem, but it is pretty hard to cheat on a college admissions test.

Especially when your parents want to send you to Stanford or Yale. But I don't want to go there. Della and Courtney have their lives figured out. Della wants to go to fashion and design school. Courtney wants to go into magazine publishing. And then there's me.

But I don't know how I can be both smart and popular. It's like someone being both ugly and pretty. Or food being disgusting and delicious. It's basically polar opposites.

Everyone knows the popular and geeks don't mix. You have three main groups- Populars, Geeks, and the ones who aren't really popular but aren't geeky called Betweens. After that, it branches out. The Popular group branches into the Everyone Knows You Because You Are Georgous, and the Popular Cause You're Friends With Everyone. The Geeks branch out into the Comic Book/Anime Readers, the Don't Touch Me I'm a Germaphobe, and the A's on Every Single Assignment I Turn In. The Betweens mostly fit into one category- the I Have Friends Who Are Popular and Friends Who Are Not And Would Not Like This To Turn Into West Side Story.

Chances are, you fit into one of these yourself. I Don't mean to offend any of you guys who thought you were in one category and turned out to be in another. That is just the way it goes at my school. Your school probably has a different social order- at least I hope it does.

Where was I again? Oh yeah, Wing Dings.

When I got up this morning, I took a nice, long shower and got dressed in my uniform. Today I matched it with my black Supra sneakers with gold laces. I straightened my hair and pulled it up halfway. On the way to school I met Della and Courtney at the coffee shop for latés.

Today is going to be better than yesterday.

I am going to make sure of it. I am going to fix things with Marcus, and then I am going to go to my first tutoring session with Brett and make it very clear I am not available. Unless I can't make things right with Marcus.
What am I saying? I have to be positive. That's right. YES! He WILL take me back!

Or maybe he won't...

I sigh. What will it take for me to undo all of my hard work to be popular and just be a geek again? A lot. Sacraficing my popularity, giving up my social life. And that is just the beginning. I would need to study for countless hours in order to catch up on years of schooling. Would I really be stupid enough to sacrifice everything I had wished for, everything I had ever wanted- just to be smart again.

My mind is a very confusing place.

When we arrived at school that morning, it had been dark and cloudy. Now, the sun is shining through the windows, illuminating the lockers and spotlighting the dust.

I saw him before he saw me.

"Marcus! Wait! I need to talk to you!" I say, running after him. He hears me, but doesn't turn around. He is ignoring me. He thinks he is such a sly guy, well I'll show him.

"Marcus, stop playing games. Turn around and look me in the eye. Don't be a coward and run away from your problems."

He turns around sharply. He looks ready to murder.

"Who are you to call anyone names? I could call you so many. Slut, Cheater, Kissy Carson." He growls at me. The pain in his eyes shines through the anger.

I do have to admit I never would have thought of Kissy Carson. Props to him for creativity.

"Please, I'm sorry. Just give me another chance. What I did was wrong and I know it. I apologized already. I tried texting and calling you last night but you didn't answer. Please just give me a chance."

"No. I gave you a chance. And then you waste it making out with some guy you recognized at a party. I bet you were just waiting to leave me. I bet you planned it all out. Planned to leave me there in the dust looking humiliated as I was about to show you off to my college friends. I loved you, but now I am not so sure you ever loved me back."

"Wait. Woah, take it back a second. You showed me off to your college friends like I was a trophy you had just won for being attractive. That honesly insults me a little bit. What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means we're done- over," He turns around and walks away.

Wow. This is really happening. I, Casey Carson, was rejected by my own boyfriend. One of my worst fears has come to life.

Once again, a crowd had formed around us. Eager to tweet about and gossip about the train wreck of Casey Carson's life. Just watch, in about twenty minutes I will be a trending topic.

How could it get any worse?

Except, the worst hadn't even begun yet.