Black and blue I'm meant for you||Shance langst

Trapdoor||9

=====Lance's POV=====

As I stand up from bed and stretch my limbs, everything aches. I must've slept weird, my eyes still have that just cried feel so, can't have slept that much. As I look over at the clocks Pidge had made us I notice that it's 3:00 in the morning. Why does my body do this to me, wake me at an ungodly hour then not let me go back to sleep.

     Before I can even finish my current thoughts, one seems to strike my interest. It's so simple it's so clear I should've known from the beginning. I need to work harder than before.

Keith doesn't even have to try hard and he surpasses you

     Maybe if I just train more, I've gotten plenty of sleep and I can't fall back asleep anyways. My mind continues to wonder as I slip on the black bodysuit and the armored padding. The thick bodysuit always feels like it chocking my whole body, it's an awful feeling. The dim, blue tinted lights that adorn the halls of the castle at night don't really help much when walking down them, so even if someone sees me it won't be hard to mask who I am.

     I finally get to the door of the training room, the entrance to it seemed so foreboding. I felt like I shouldn't go in, like I should just turn around and walk right back to my room, maybe wash my face and fall right asleep. However, that same thought came back.

Keith wouldn't turn around, he'd get better. Remember Lance, for every moment you aren't training, Shiro and Keith are getting closer together.

     Why did it hurt so much thinking of Keith getting with Shiro. I mean it's not my place to judge who Shiro is with but, I'd much rather it be me.

Then go and train, maybe then he won't give you disgusted looks and sympathy smiles.

     I'm right, I need to train, so maybe Shiro will like me better. I practically smack the small pad next to the door as it whooshes open. The training deck lights flicker on quickly and make me shield my eyes for a second. "Dang, forgot how bright it was in here" Thank god for the soundproofing of this room, I feel like I can speak my mind.

     I look around before summoning my bayard and readying my rifle. I know the bot comes this way. But before I can even call out the command to start I have another revelation. This didn't work last time Shiro didn't like it, Shiro didn't care, if anything he seemed annoyed at you.

That because you trained like Lance would, you need to train how Keith would.

I mean, I'm not wrong. I throw my rifle to the side and pull off some of the armor pads giving me a bit of breathing room in the stuffy suit. "This should do." This time I ready my fists and call out "start hand to hand training level seven". I need to aim higher if I wish to get to Keith's level.

     The robot activated and comes towards me with incredible speed. It swings a right hook and connects with my arm as I pathetically try to block it. You'll never be able to be as good as Keith. This attack knocks me off my balance but I quickly fix my stance. I grab the robots arm and throw it behind me and stamping down on the back of its knee with my foot causing it to fall. No matter how many hits you land, or how many levels you go up, Shiro will always love Keith more.

     Once I have the robot pinned all of my frustration, anger, and sadness come raging out of me. Emotions I've been holding in for a while now come out in this one fight. My fists connect with the robot time and time again. Every hit my fist makes comes with a sickening noise, my hand breaking and being bloodied. Keep going, don't stop until it's nothing but a flat piece of metal. You deserve the pain in your hands, you'll never ever be able to be viewed as anything more than a pathetic basket case to Shiro.

Eventually my arms give out, and I fall on top of the robot lying on my side. I can't feel my fingers too well and my hands are covered in blood. The robot falls to the floor to be recycled and I flip to my back, feeling my conscious slipping. Maybe I could just sleep here and rest for a bit.

Unfortunately I'm jolted awake by yelling. "LANCE!" I jump up and start scanning the entire room for anyone. "Lance what are you doing here!?" I see him run up to me, damn it Shiro. "Lance it's six in the morning what are you-" He was obviously cut short my by hands, looking like they'd been run over. "Lance what happened here, is there an intruder, are you alright?!" He's concerned about me, I'd be happy if it weren't for the fact my hands burn and I'm so tired.

He only fears for the rest of the team, it's only courteous to ask an injured person if they're alright, he couldn't care less.

     I bite my lip and get a metallic taste in my mouth. "Yeah I'm fine Shiro, just was working off some steam I'll be fi-" Shiro shook his head and sighed, causing me to stop in fear of angering him. "Lance, I would expect this from Keith, but not you, I thought you were better than that." Ow, theres that disappointed tone I've become familiar with. "Sorry Shiro, I'll do better next time, at least I wore armor this time!" I point to my armor, well I mean to point but my index finger won't even lift.

     "I couldn't care less right now, what are you doing up at this time, we have training today." Shit, he actually looks mad this time. "I uh, I just wanted to get some hand to ha-" His usually Stern frown turned into a more angered one, one I didn't think Shiro could make. "Lance today's training is vital" he stressed the word vital and I could feel his grip on my forearm tighten "without today's training someone could be hurt or killed in battle because of you Lance!". He let go of my forearm, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't want anyone hurt out there, just do better next time alright Lance." He stood back up. I could barely think straight, my entire body felt like dead weight as my heart sunk in my chest. "Y-yeah, sorry Shiro" I try my best and stand up, albeit with wobbly legs.

Look what you've done, Shiro hates you now and there's an even better chance someone will die, all because of how pathetic you are, it'll all be your fault.

     I can barely stand right now, let alone walk. "Lance just get to the med-bay and get in a pod, we'll do the training tomorrow, do better next time Lance." He walked out of the room, not once looking back at me. Shiro's right I need to do better, I need to be better than this.

     As I walk to the med-bay, using the walls as support, I can't stop thinking about what Shiro had said to me, am I really that terrible, is Keith even better than I thought.

Of course he is, why else would you make Shiro so angry.

     Maybe I am right, maybe I'll I'm good for is to pilot blue. Maybe if I die on our next mission Allura could pilot it, then the team could actually function. As I open the door to the med-bay and slip into a pod, the last thing I can do is think how awful tomorrow will be.

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I have revised this damn chapter four times now, please kill me. Anyways love y'all! <3